Hehehe, this reading I got for free seems encouraging enough!
Happy New Year!
About 2003
In Numerology, 2003 is a Five year, because the numbers that make up the year add up to five. In a Five year, you can expect action and lots of change in the world. The dynamic number Five shakes up our preconceived notions about the way things should happen. The best general advice in a Five year? Expect the unexpected, and prepare for excitement and change.
The numbers Two and Three are known as "Pinnacle Numbers" and represent 2003's underlying themes.
The number Two encourages us to respect and understand the thoughts and perspectives of others who might not share our own personal philosophies. Agree to disagree, and remember: the world would be a boring place without a variety of beliefs and opinions.
The Three focuses on our ability to communicate, and encourages us to be clear and succinct in our dealings. A Three Pinnacle puts the emphasis on saying what we mean, and meaning what we say.
Glitches in communication are also likely this year, so it's best to be prepared. Be sure to charge up that cell phone battery, address your mail correctly, and back up your computer to avoid annoyances and delays.
While Five, Two and Three are the universal Number themes for 2003, each of us have our own personal numbers, based on our birth name, that help us to define the year ahead.
Your Personal Year number for 2003 is 3
This is a year of expansion and personal growth. It is a time of heightened personal expression. Creativity and artistic talent come to the forefront. You are lighthearted and drawn to all kinds of social events.
More than most other years, you will entertain and be entertained. You meet new and exciting people. It is a time to appreciate all that you have.
You are highly dynamic and charismatic. Your challenge is to avoid scattering your energies. You have a rare opportunity to bring forth new and creative ideas. But that requires discipline and focus.
It is easy to be optimistic and enthusiastic this year and this may result in speeding up your projects. Yet there will be delays and disappointments unless your enthusiasm is based upon the reality of work and concentration.
This is a pleasant time in which friendship is enjoyed and love shared easily.
This is often a good financial year, particularly if your creativity is well directed. Surround yourself with upbeat and positive people.
You may travel more than usual, which in all likelihood will be filled with exciting people and pleasure.
Control this year's tendencies towards glamour and extravagance, yet allow your self more room to enjoy and celebrate.
You communicate well this year and are more capable of getting your ideas across.
Love is in the air.
February brings changes; June sees the completion of a project and July signals a new beginning. August can be emotional, as can November.
Ack, in a matter of days — 48 hours or so — it'd be a brand new year na pala! I'll be posting my year-ender specials (which I wasn't able to post last year, boOhOo) in a few!
1. What holiday or holidays do you celebrate this time of year? Christmas (blechhh, for the heck of it na lang), & New Year's Day (which I'm rather excited pa about).
2. What was the best gift you have ever received? Uhm, this year? I got a lot of really cool gifts so it's hard to say which.
3. What was the worst gift you've ever given? I dunno. I've given out a lot of crappy stuff na rin kasi. Besides, I'd rather give away cards. Anyway, maybe the worst gift I've given would be collectively those presents I thought were fairly okay to dish out but weren't appreciated much, like this umbrella I gave to my best bud for kicks. I bought the damn thing since it was the only thing left decent in the newly-opened (but now-defunct LOL) Personalize-It store at the mall in my locale — & of course, I thought it was cute. Handy & symbolic of our friendship at the same time. Kaso, too bad. Sira na yung punyetang payong. She should've kept it even without using it, right? Fuck. Hehe.
4. Where will you be celebrating the holidays? Are you hosting?
Going away? Maybe I'll stay home again & sleep it all off. I've had it spending the holidays with other people. But wait, being online on IRC entails spending time with other people! LOL.
5. If you could spend the holidays with someone who isn't around, who would it be with? Why? Hehe, do you even have to ask? ^_^
"We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love."
LIBRA: Weed out your unrealistic goals. Getting through to people is the easy part today, but take it to the next level by making requests and demanding action.
Fuck. What goals?
But honestly, I've been thinking about pursuing career opportunities early next year, which of course, rolls out in a matter of days. I have to muster up enough gall to actually approach people to help me get admitted anywhere related in my future line of work. I'm really feeling down all of a sudden, but I have to get through this soon...
Flying in a dream is not too unusual but not everyone has these dreams. Our bodies cannot fly so flying represents the part of us that is not limited by the physical body — the mind. Flying by yourself in a dream indicates you have a strong mind (ie. are very rational / intellectual). This ability to 'project' your mind means you can develop hypnosis and absent healing among other things. These abilities work through projecting your mind onto another. The downside is that the person has to be careful to not be too much in the head all the time. You can miss a lot of opportunities in life if you always rationalize things and never follow you heart.
Flying with a guide in a dream is different though and it indicates that you have the ability to project your mind into the spirit world and communicate with spirits. A guide in these type of dreams usually appears as somebody who is an instructor on how to fly.
But mostly my dream sequence would end with me heading straight for & crashing into the pavement. Now what could that mean? I don't think I've ever "flown" with a guide before. Hmmm, lemme try to remember...
I don't feel the Christmas spirit this year, unfortunately. I guess I'm too bummed out. It just doesn't make sense anymore. The whole fuss used to be catchy, albeit melancholy. Now I could care less if people set up lights, wrap up gifts, write cards & make presentations all set for the season. Bah, humbug. Last year was so much more fun, though, even when everything here at home was so screwed-up.
I've fixed all the links in my long December 19th post. My best bud has fallen in love with the Haindl deck all over again as well, when she took a closer look at the Star card from it in my guidebook. The Two of Cups is the loveliest card in that particular deck, though, so far.
I feel light & bubbly today. Good morning. Thank you so much for the great conversation & sandwiches, Ate May. I promise to be a good godmother to Sean someday. & yes, you are so lucky to have a great father. As much as I'd like to give you my condolences for him, I think you should be happy because at least even in his last hour he was able to let you feel how much he loves you & the rest of your family. *hugs* I'm glad to be a part of your family, too, via my best bud & your sister-in-law shadowkat.
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
In secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in
Itself the light of hidden flowers;
Thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
Risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way.
That this: where I does not exist, nor you,
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
So close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
LIBRA: It's a great day to clear your conscience — write out your mistakes, forgive yourself for all of them, and then throw the list away. Before you go to dreamland tonight, say goodbye to habits that no longer serve you.
For the sake of collecting decks, this, as I've realized only recently, would make a great addition if ever. I love its High Priestess card most. I wonder why I always get drawn to that card in just about every deck I come across with. But my brother thinks the deck is too creepy while other people find it dreamy.
I really don't have anything in mind this Christmas, until I came across this seemingly interesting book. Waaahhh, wtf.
I know I sound like a crazed idiot obsessed with cartomancy, but I really can't help being drawn to it now, especially that I've got 2 new fancy spreads to work with (enticingly called Moon & Cake, hehe) once I get the chance. But I have to reclaim my room first from my folks. They've been sleeping there this week since they got their a/c unit busted & they fucking couldn't find the warranty for it when the servicemen came over the other day. I'm getting tired of sleeping late as well as moving from one room to another. I'm glad my kid sibs would let me crash in theirs in the meantime. I terribly miss my room & my bed, the only spot where I can really be at peace with myself in this hellhole I grudgingly call home. I wonder how long will this madness last. Dammit. & I'm supposed to be happy this season? Bah, hum-fucker-bug!
My kid bro lent me his black cellphone cover out of nowhere & I feel weird because I don't feel like myself at all anymore with too much black & gray in my clothes & stuff. I love my worn-out pastel thingamajigs too much now. Hehe, how gurly. But I got a fancy black book, LOL, for my best bud & I hope she likes it. I can't wait to give it to her — among them other junk I've got prepared — before the weekend. I'm way overdue for observing our 4th friendship anniversary.
Rainblood made me download 3 In Flames tracks from him, & that me miss my other metal mp3's (that got obliterated last year because my bothered accidentally fucked up with the hard disk). Especially from Iced Earth & My Dying Bride. He gave me a full-length At The Gates album to download with 2 extra songs thrown in, but I wasn't able to spare that, either. Crap.
Oh, & boohoo, so long, strawberry & kretek cigs... I'm steering clear of you before I get hooked or something. I don't smoke, though! & I hate it because my parents do so my room stinks somewhat. Shit.
Been bingeing like crazy. My damned hormonal imbalance is very much responsible for it. Not to mention the irresistible food overload here at home. I wonder where I can get delectable leche flan quick. Yum. Hehe.
I decided to go see shadowkat again last night, after not getting to be with her for quite a while. We talked about how she was quitting work because she was getting fed up with the company she was working in for the last 5 months, how I've been feeling lately, & what happened with her bar-hopping spree with Marky the other night. I made her handle my tarot deck as we had this spread we were supposed to read but couldn't, because we had to head off to Marky's when mein uber liebe fUse & his best bud AJ came over. She also made me interpret her own reading — using the 7th Card Spread — that she did with this old Rider-Waite deck she borrowed from her immediate boss & had 'recharged' in my room a few months back. The results turned out to be similar to what I read for her before using the same spread, which basically represented her 'repressed' self. But the outcome card was the 9 of Pentacles, which is a good card to get anyhow. Our mutual card turned out magically to be the Hermit (hehe, damn him). Our favorite cards, respectively — 2 of Cups (hers) & Knight of Swords (I am just so in love with this baby!). We could hardly wait for the New Year to usher in. Maybe life would take it easier on us by then.
An excerpt from a poem I found on a fun e-page... *sigh*
I hate it 'cause I've waited so long for someone like you,
Should I say it,
Should I tell you how I feel,
It's so complicated, I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay, Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel,
Oh, I want you to know,
But then again I don't,
It's so complicated.
LIBRA: Variety is easy to get with your eclectic group of friends. Even one new activity a week will open your world entirely to new modes of thought. Thinking differently is the key to changing what you don't like about your environment.
Are some tomatoes better for you than others? Research says yes.
Although all tomatoes are rich in important nutrients, such as lycopene, recent research has revealed that some tomato varieties may contain more health-protective flavonols than others. Small cherry tomatoes had the highest flavonol concentration of 20 tomato varieties tested in a study.
Flavonols are antioxidants that protect against aging and disease. There is no recommended daily allowance for flavonols. However, you can get your fill by eating five servings of vegetables and four servings of fruit per day, especially ones with deep red or purple hues, such as red onions, red grapes, and tomatoes. Over 90% of the flavonols in fruits and vegetables are found in the skins.
I've just realized I'm really a lousy person. A lousy daughter, a lousy sister, a lousy student, a lousy best friend, a lousy leader, a lousy follower, a lousy housekeeper, a lousy reader, a lousy writer, a lousy psychologist, a lousy consultant, a lousy young adult, a lousy overgrown child, a lousy music aficionado, a lousy significant other. The fact that I'm living in a lousier world doesn't help at all. Not one bit.
If you take certain pain relievers very frequently, it may be a good idea to have your blood pressure checked every year.
Recent research revealed that women who regularly took nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, such as ibuprofin or naproxen, had a higher than normal risk for high blood pressure. Only women taking these medications for 22 or more days per month appeared to experience the increased risk.
Research into the link between frequent nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) use and the risk of high blood pressure is in the early stages. Very frequent use of acetaminophen also appeared to be linked to an increased risk of high blood pressure. Experts caution that, although very frequent use of NSAIDs may increase high blood pressure risk in some people, it does not mean that people should avoid these medications. For some people with chronic conditions, these medications make an important contribution to quality of life. However, if you do frequently take NSAIDs or acetaminophen, be sure to have your blood pressure screened regularly, perhaps as often as every year.
Wow. I can actually see it in the headlines now:
"Abbee just died. Talk about Advil suicide!" w00t! LOL.
The card that lands in the Challenges/Opportunities position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones.
Judgment in this position is a challenge to redeem yourself and be resurrected. Agree to wake up with a higher new level of discernment, even though outwardly you are in the same old body, the same old identity, the same old world. When this trumpet blows in your soul, it no longer matters who you used to be. External reckoning no longer applies. A higher order calls and you must march to that new drummer.
(MOTD) = Deftones - Change (In The House of Flies)
LIBRA: You laugh, even when no one else does — proof that your emotions are not dependent on others. Provide leadership, and steer clear of friends in a bad mood. The stronger you become, the more attractive you are.
Librans like high-wire acts — it's all about balance as they coolly make it to the other side.
Some believe that Libra derives power from showing up at harvest time. This sign makes a good peacemaker — Libra might consider working for the U.N., as he or she is incredibly adept at engineering compromise. Or, you might consider a job in journalism, as you're extremely objective. In fact, Librans strive for civility and avoid arguments at all costs.
Sometimes Libra is a bit too easygoing and may be considered lazy. Try to be more confident about making decisions, Libra.
Your sign really enjoys feeling good, and you can get too wrapped up in those feelings, thus sacrificing your responsibilities. Take care of your back and kidneys.
Yikes. Sheesh. I was about to agree on every little thing, except for the bit about my back & kidneys!
Life’s a beach on the coast of Spain. From dramatic rocky beaches of Costa Brava to peaceful, sun-drenched lagoons of Murcia, the crashing waves of the Atlantic Ocean to the gentler surf of the island-filled Mediterranean, the shores of Europe’s southwest corner contain unbelievable variety.
LIBRA: Matters related to home and family may feel unsettled. Meditation will help current stress. It is best not to think about what you don't have and start using what you do. A romantic relationship is right where it should be.
Yep, meditation... after lighting a few candles & incense sticks last night in my room to help me relax, I feel better already. Hearing from him again, too, put me at further ease.
Put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself, 'Here is an opportunity for me to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary."
-- Anthony Robbins
Your quaint surrealistic deck is like, what, $100?!?
Damn you! You da man! HEHE.
You are learning intensely personal lessons by looking inward for your answers. You feel lonely even in a crowd. You take the time to re-evaluate your goals; then fresh movement occurs.
You experience the urge to find meaning and you seek it within yourself as well as in the outer world. Both turn out to be fertile ground for your soul searching efforts.
You will find yourself in a position where your foresight is consistently accurate and your internal guidance is the soul of prudence. This somewhat lofty awareness will be coupled with the reality that mistakes happen. The margin for error is wide.
Microsoft touts Windows 2000 as 'secure'
VNUNet.com
Microsoft has claimed that Windows 2000 has received the highest level security evaluation of any commercial operating system.
Windows 2000 has won the Common Criteria certification, a global standard for the security features and capabilities of IT products which is an important benchmark for government and other contracts.
According to Reuters, independent evaluators looked at the development methodology, documentation, architecture and other operational and security aspects of the software in a broad set of real-world scenarios.
A Microsoft spokesman explained that it took three years and "many millions of dollars", and that it is "an important milestone for the company".
I've never really liked using Win2k. It's what we'd use in school, & BLECH. The Office program's smooth, though.
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you."
—Dale Carnegie
Become more careful in your choices. Don't be so naive by opening yourself to unnecessary trauma.
The card in the Cycles position indicates which way the wind is blowing with regard to your situation. If you follow the Advice card, however, you can improve on or neutralize tendencies.
With the Eight of Cups in this position, you will be lucky to get through an upcoming situation without being taken advantage of or even abused. Such experiences can humble us and harm our feelings of security. This may be a tough situation, so keep your eyes open and remain vigilant. It is not a safe environment. For now be less open, less willing to just let things happen to you. Be protective of your boundaries.
If you are about to put yourself in a challenging or unpredictable situation, take full responsibility. Only foresight can provide you any safety. Once you are caught up, there will be no rescue and you will be forced to go through it alone. Preparation may be your ally.
But on the other end of the spectrum,
Now is your chance to recover personal power and self-esteem.
The card in the Recent Past position refers to events and relationships that are just departing, recently influential but now diminishing in power.
With the Eight of Cups in this position, you have been through a situation that left you feeling assaulted. You felt exhausted overwhelmed, drained — as if a plug had been pulled within you. Take heart — because this card implies that difficult conditions are on the wane.
The worst of your sadness and feelings of being overwhelmed have lifted. But you have yet to collect yourself and move forward, which is what you must do in order to fully recover. Take special care to get closure on this episode. As the future brings new influences, you don't want to be dwelling on the past.
Anyway, I finally know why this card is in the front cover of my deck's guide book with my latest online reading results:
Prepare to use spiritual practices, studies or lifestyle changes that can assist you in your quest. A tremendous amount of benefit is available if you can organize yourself and be disciplined at this time.
"I would rather be righteous
And said to be unrighteous
Than to be unrighteous
And said to be righteous."
-- Becky Mitchell
"If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they may have planned for you? Not much."
-- Jim Rohn
I'm up to being pseudo-senti-philosophical again... so here you go, some poem from the mailbox...
The Most Beautiful Flower
The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read
Beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree.
Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown,
For the world was intent on dragging me down.
And if that weren't enough to ruin my day,
A young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play.
He stood right before me with his head tilted down
And said with great excitement, "Look what I found!"
In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight,
With its petals all worn, not enough rain or too little light.
Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play,
I faked a small smile and then shifted away.
But instead of retreating, he sat next to my side
And placed the flower to his nose
and declared with overacted surprise,
"It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too.
That's why I picked it; here, it's for you."
The weed before me was dying or dead.
Not vibrant of colors, orange, yellow or red.
But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave.
So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need."
But instead of him placing the flower in my hand,
He held it mid-air without reason or plan.
It was then that I noticed for the very first time
That weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind.
I heard my voice quiver, tears shone like the sun
As I thanked him for picking the very best one.
"You're welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play,
Unaware of the impact he'd had on my day.
I sat there and wondered how he managed to see
A self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree.
How did he know of my self-indulged plight?
Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight.
Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see
The problem was not with the world; the problem was me.
And for all of those times, I myself had been blind,
I vowed to see the beauty in life, and appreciate
every second that's mine.
And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose
And breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose
And smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in his hand
About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.
Heads up for Diablo II Expansion. Dammit, I had to wait this long to get my hands on the game. I'm playing as an Assassin now, currently on Level 9, still about to rescue Deckard Cain in Tristram. I'm drooling over my brother's Level 26 Druid moseying along Act 3. Fuckin a. I wish I played well, too. My Amazon sucked like hell, after my brother & I went on multiplayer mode at my favorite yet now defunct Net + gaming station around 2 years ago. His Paladin was 20 levels ahead, & we had to be in his arena, so do the math. We were bored & experimental like that, as we had to share gems & skulls as well as armor & weaponry.
I know, I haven't been blogging decently for days now. & I mean DAYS. I'm not okay, if you're to ask me how I'm faring lately. I hope you ARE, though. Especially YOU. Yeah, you, love. *sigh*
"Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny."
-- C. Schurz
Yette finally came over yesterday morning, but I foiled her plans of tagging along with her to somewhere (I forgot where exactly, boohoo) in Amorsolo St., Makati & Emerald Ave., Ortigas for her much-anticipated job interview. I did a tarot reading for her instead, & she saw how messy my bedroom was, but she was cool with it, I guess. We went to McD's after to have breakfast before she'd go home (yummy hashbrowns but the branch near my place ran out of sausage Mcmuffins, waaahhh, so we settled for cheeseburgers & large fries instead, which turned out to be too salty). Mom wasn't home until 8am yesterday, so there, bless me, I really couldn't just go & leave the house + my responsibilities like that. Not to mention my resumé needed a few updates as well, & I've run out of decent pictures for it to boot. (Whoever said I was fond of taking/keeping photos of myself, anyhow?!) Too bad just when I've decided to join her so we could stroll the metro for hours, things just got pretty screwed up. Why is it that I just couldn't push through things with her when I myself could've landed in a job there, too? I'm such a goddamn waste.
I'm leaving for Kathz's tonight. I've been with her at Marky's place the other night, though, where we all had a taste of this new Rocky Road cake roll from our small local bakeshop we have in town & I finally met their friend from school Edz (Edwin). I did a reading for the latter (because he turned out to be so nice, yay), which was draining for the both of us even though it was relatively short, & I joined him on his way home since we were to pass through the same route anyway. I was supposed to watch Birthday Girl with my best bud that afternoon, but I was too tired to trek all the way to our local mall. I dunno when will I ever catch the movie now, & whom I'll be going out with.
Sana hindi ako antukin nang tuluyan mamaya. I have yet to scrub my feet, too. Trip lang. I find the whole darned move soothing enough somehow. Mmm, hooray, peppermint.
Famed hacker Kevin Mitnick says he is coming clean and plans to auction off the laptops he used during his fugitive years in the 1990s, reports Reuters.
The hacker, who was on the run from the FBI for three years, hacked into networks along the way including those of Motorola, Sun Microsystems and Nokia, as well as the computer scientist who helped in his capture.
He was eventually nabbed in February 1995 and subsequently held for four-and-a-half years without bail.
Now Mitnick is flogging his Toshiba 1960CS, his laptop of the time, on eBay. The other laptop is also for sale and is described as having a "fine layer of fingerprint dust", red X marks where fingerprints were lifted and a mouse still housed in an FBI evidence bag.
Mitnick also says he intends to write a book.
God. There's like a dozen books already written about him, & hindi pa pala sya kuntento with all that mad publicity, so he comes up with an idea of writing a book, maybe about himself & his upscale pranks in detail, I bet? He's crazy. Talk about people & their savage want for 15 more minutes of fame. Errr, kahit infamy, even.
Watched The Tuxedo last night with Sonny. Was actually more fun than Rush Hour 2, methinks, even if Jackie Chan fared better with Chris Tucker than he did with Jennifer Love Hewitt (but she was awesome as how she starred in Heartbreakers), & had something actually insightful for its audience to ponder on. If clothes doth make the man, as Shakespeare said before, the rest is still up to him (or maybe even her, as it applies to everyone) to be the person he chooses & is deemed to be. Nuff sed. Go watch. Have a blast.
Especially if you're on the verge of losing it real fast.
They may have worked well with crash test dummies, but real people will have to endure the quick sharp blow on their chests & faces whenever they get enabled. Just looking at how those sick airbags work makes me squeamish everytime. I don't wear seatbelts or anything of the sort, & yet I haven't encountered any on-the-road & on-the-go vehicle accidents, except for my bike "fatalities", hehe, & the blasted falling-off-the-bus-because-some-weird-fucker-decided-to-pull-me-to-the-side-by-the-arm-&-I-freaked-out incident.
Too bad I might just have to put off birthday celebration sprees until tomorrow.
I'm calling it a day. I'm feeling feverish, & my nose is clogged yet runny. Like, how weird is that?
But I sure had a nice day today... a lot of people remembered & sent me lotsa e-cards & SMS greetings. Friends from grade/high school, my Scatterbrains posse, Ate Honey, kai, & Lynne (z3uG). I even had a call from Maya on my cp — thank you so much! I also had a newfound friend in Ate Neneng (a neighbor of my best bud's) who said she'd just go to church for me in Baclaran since I was too sick to get up early this morning. Yay. The best part of it all, though, was my best bud giving me a brown runic bracelet made from elephant bone when the clock struck 12, after I gave her best friend Mark a reading in her room. They loved the bracelet so much that they even got some for themselves.
Oh, wait, I guess the REALLY best part of it all was him taking a day off from work & keeping me company even if for a not-so-short-yet-not-so-long-either while. ^_^
Hehe, got this test from kai a few months back, but only remembered to post it just now. I've got a few more online quizzes up for grabs which I'll be putting up in a few.
I've just realized I'm not actually feeling well at all. I'm coming down with the flu again.
“Contradiction is not a sign of falsity,
nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth.”
-- Blaise Pascal
"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew." -- Saint Francis de Sales
"It's so important to believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it, under any circumstances. Because if you believe you can, then you really will. That belief keeps you searching for the answers, and then pretty soon you get it."
-- Wally "Famous" Amos
Somewhere here in the horizon
the rippling moonlit waters remind me
how lovely Life can be from a distance
at certain serene times
With the city lights aglow
below dainty stars and clouds
When the cool sea breeze blows kisses
on my weary, sleepy brow...
As I close my eyes and feel the bliss
brought upon by such contemplation
A certain warmth, stirred in with a mild chill,
surges through my self's inner depths
Up to my head
Then I look back at you, beaming —
I find myself wishing this moment would never have to end.
"Beside You" 11-04-2001
05:41 AM
Your heart holds the sweetness —
pure, moving, gradual, ethereal —
that pours itself generously
calming me down,
setting me free,
winning me over,
drawing me closer,
making it known to me
the power and truth of the wonder
that is Love.
I have always wished for this,
yet never expected it now to be so real...
"boredom + mush = crap" 02-18-2002
02:55 PM
Sorry, I couldn't help but post these up. Not that I'm being ultra-mushy or anything. It just occurred to me this morning that they were the very last bits of "poetry" (blechhh) I made, & I wouldn't be really inspired to write them if it weren't for them arts & literature aficionados in my local BBS (somewhat).
Somehow I get people ending up lost in this stupid blog when they go searching for glutaphos here. Too bad they won't find anything substantial about the subject! I tried the damned stuff a few times last year, to no avail. I was more often than not physically exhausted & emotionally diffused, to the point of waking up late in the morning still with my school clothes on, whenever I don't get to go online around 3 in the morning for IRC, paperwork, & research. No amount of such could jumpstart my brain. But I personally suggest you kids take them staple Pharmaton, Centrum, chocolate, & peanuts instead. They actually work, & oh, gadzooks, get enough exercise + sleep too, if you want your mind so desperately to crank up for the books & shyt.
"Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. On the contrary: rationalize them, understand them thoroughly. After that, it will be possible for you to sublimate them."
-- Salvador Dali
Fine. I'm on the RRRRIGHT on track, then.
Here's something I wrote down on a scrap of paper around early June that I found in my bag a few months later:
"hehe, it's easy to fall in love with sadness sometimes. I'm a sucker for mush, too, especially of the tragic kind. but I have to steer clear from too much desolation to keep me from drowning myself or doing anything similarly crazy."
I'm that ditzy. But don't worry, I won't screw up this time. I don't mind languor + nostalgia so much now.
So, unfortunately, a brand new week has just rolled in, & I still haven't written much about anything.
I'm having pre-birthday jitters, though, as always.
Maybe I'll just post a few things from my unpublished archives (that don't seem to come out right if ever I do get them fully up here) so I could ponder more about myself & what is happening to me now before I get to sleep the day away again. I came home late from my best bud's, & I'm really beat. But I still have to prepare sucky breakfast & help make way for lunch (Mom would be the one to cook today, anyway) if I want to catch up on snooze.
"I'm not gonna change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people."
-- John Lennon
He's a fellow Libran, so maybe he does know. Hail!
"The most important things are the hardest to say,
because words diminish them."
-- Stephen King
I hope to set foot or get to 'swim' in this shore before I die or something. Or at least sail around it to savor more the blue skies hovering & the crystal-clear waters surrounding.
"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in."
-- Erma Bombeck
Which reminds me, I have to get my prized Erma Bombeck book back from Jen, quick.
I was supposed to go out today but my knee just fucking hurts. I can't sit or stand properly, & whether I bend or stretch my crappy right leg, I could only be really careful with my movements lest my last-Monday sudden abrasion burst open & bleed like crazy again. I also feel terribly sleepy even if I had guzzled lotsa Coke + iced tea during breakfast & lunch.
This is such a pretty deck, but I do not feel any affinity to it.
Or maybe because I haven't looked at the cards closely enough.
Pfft.
But the readings done with the said deck are rather strikingly accurate.
This is my latest Outcome card... oh, how apt.
Death reversed indicates a time of upheaval after an emotionally challenging period in the questioner's life. The seeker needs to re-evaluate the events of the last few months & then resolve to move forward. Fear brought on by trauma in the past cannot be allowed to hold you back.
Funny how lately I keep dreading the same card from this deck.
LIBRA: This is no time to waste watching TV. You've got major plans to make, and if they're not put down on paper, the likelihood of them actually occurring is about zero.
The reason why I keep posting my horoscope readings for the day lately is that they just seem to come out naturally accurate + in accordance in what I really should be doing, like months ago or so.
& in this case, I have to blog everything that happened to me last weekend before the next weekend rolls in.
I'm still too tired, though. Talk about emo-philosophical info overload. I don't think I actually have time to watch TV, anyway. I'm going to hit the books again. Who needs TV when you have the Net?
I better take a bath now, before my best bud drops by here today after work, which is in 20 minutes or so.
LIBRA: Lots of sleep is the answer tonight. Your body needs time to rejuvenate.
I might have to self-induce sleep if things go out of hand.
But for the lighter stuff, I just want to link this so I can look it up later.
Hooray for Windows XP Pro Plus.
I hope it does work better now than WinME. I'm generally quite anxious with change, & adjusting to a new OS is somewhat crazy. I feel lost just about everytime I have to deal with evolving. I'm stressful like that. Dammit.
But I've dealt with Office XP before, & we've added XP tweaks to our ME last summer, so...
I can hardly wait to have everything completely set up so I can reconfigure my IRC script, SMS client, & all other blah with my apps.
You're sweet like the song title, still young and slightly naive but you've got a ton of potential. The people who you admire and are living the dreams you hold so dearly are held in high stature in your eyes and you look up to them with great enthusiasm. You've got a big imagination and you show great promise in becoming something great! If you just tap into that strength and power you know is inside of you, you can achieve anything! You are a kind and loving person, but you may get caught up in your fantasies at times. Despite your oxymoronic qualities, if you keep your head high you can make the best out of any situation.
"Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth."
--Katherine Mansfield
Please, if anybody can enlighten me on what this "truth" to be faced or "thing" to be risked is supposed to be, I'd be very much grateful & relieved. Thanks.
Before you know it, I'll be gone and you can't stop me and you won't find me and you can't hurt me anymore. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words cause deep, emotional, psychological, and permanent damage.
I wish I had the words to terribly make an impact just like that — to hurt, wound, & maim.
I had to remove the tag board for a while because nobody could post in it anyway after I had to customize it fully to fit this blasted blog. Is it just me being a big doofus with stuff like this, or is it my board's effin fault?
Turns out I've tweaked the code too much. /me bonks self
Yup, this is what I get for lacking decent sleep & junk food intake.
Had a yummy early dinner tonight, bummed around IRC again (I swear I'll be lying low next week), brooded over things under the heavy rain, filtered my best bud's e-mail account, & finished a few overdue reply-to missives.
Anyway, techie news from the [e]-mailbox—
Microsoft Unveils Windows Media 9 Series Advertica
Last night in Los Angeles Microsoft chairman Bill Gates announced the public release of the Windows Media 9 Series platform.
During the media event - which featured the participation of movie director James Cameron, music producer George Martin, and music artists Peter Gabriel and LL Cool J - focused primarily on the new platform's enhanced and innovative Fast Streaming video and audio technologies.
According to Gates, websites and online subscription services will be able to offer faster, higher-quality streaming video and audio content with the Windows Media 9 Series' Fast Streaming technology.
The platform's new developments were "designed to realize the true potential of digital media on the PC", Gates said.
Information on the entire Windows Media 9 Series platform, including download information, is available at the Microsoft website.
Nokia Launches Thr88o Phone with Colour Display,
Shipping Seen in Q1 2003 AFX News Limited
Nokia Corp launched the Nokia THR880 TETRA phone with colour display at the Tampere Safety and Security Expo in Finland, and said it expects the handset to start shipping in the first quarter 2003.
The new two-sided design is equipped with voice recognition and colour display as well as an upgraded menu system.
The new handset also includes WAP and IP Packet Data capabilities.
“The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.”
--Benjamin Mays
“To live only for some future goal is shallow.
It’s the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top.”
--Robert Pirsig
"Don't be discouraged by failure. It can be a positive experience. Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterwards carefully avoid."
--John Keats
It's good to know that there's always hope as well as room for improvement. But what if there isn't always much time left for our proverbial self-amelioration, catchings up to do, & all that other blah that we promised before that we'll get done someday?
But she is definitely reeking of controversy, so... oh, well.
Hell, she's pop as all them other pop girl artists are, & her debut music video sucks, methinks. But I like her album's carrier single, & I didn't know that she was the one credited for it until I had to see the sucky video (which yeah, had its nice shots somewhat that must've drawn in a horde of fans in one way or another, but...) & read/hear all the fuss about her just about everytime + everywhere. Christ. Isn't it ironic how she sings about the greatness of being true to oneself + anything but ordinary, but appears to be so unlike her songs to the masses?
Poor thing, though.
She doesn't need another bad review from anyone like me. I really could care less. I'm more worried about my own wobbling progress.
I got this dainty link from the mail today, & I'm all excited to check the shop out pretty soon with my best bud, if she recovers quick & isn't swamped with other appointments. We've been checking out interior decor stores everytime we're at the mall for gift ideas & stuff to clog our rooms, aside from the usual quaint novelty item shops around. I hope there'd be more to feast our eyes on when we actually get there.
So it excited me a bit to know that STP will be touring the US this fall, to mainly support Aerosmith & play a few festival shows, even if I wasn't going to be able to see them at all. To kick things off, here are details of their tour for this week:
09.06.02 San Diego, CA @ San Diego Street Scene
09.07.02 Fontana, CA @ California Motor Speedway
(Harley Davidson Tour)
The following passage from this link hit me smack-dab, though:
Though you write with passion about things that matter greatly, always remember that it’s a big world, filled with people and stories. Don’t expect the world to stop and listen. Never expect any individual (or, worse, any quantity of individuals) to read your work, for they may have other things to do. At the same time, steel yourself to expect the unexpected visitor and the uninvited guest; the most unlikely people may read your work. Your mother, who never uses a computer, may read your intimate weblog one day in the library. To be honest with the world, you may need to be honest with your mother; if you cannot face your mother, perhaps you are not ready to write for the world.
So should I quit blogging altogether at this point? ^_^
(MOTD) = Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Take Me Home (radio edit)
i am happiest when I can spend my time on things & people I most like without much fuss.
i feel lonely when the people I can trust & enjoy being with are inaccessible for the moment.
the ideal relationship would be founded on real friendship, bordering on comfort & security, providing ample symbiotic emo-intellectual dissipation.
what makes you cry? sad movies. hehehe. the past. brooding over self-pity. feelings of helplessness & despair.
introvert or extrovert? ambi. but more bordering on intro lately.
do you think too much? sometimes — too much for my own good.
if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? anywhere but HERE.
famous person you would like to meet? Sophie Ellis Bextor — or Brandon Boyd — or Scott Weiland.
but there's a whole lot of other people out there I'd want to run into someday & exchange pleasantries with, so...
are you a vegetarian? no fuckin way.
what would you most like to be doing right now? not worrying. losing myself in a joyride or a merry little long stroll. pigging out.
do you have any regrets? do you even have to ask?!
sex or love? the dreaded fuckin L-word's more like it. & I don't mean lust, sheesh!
favorite scent CK Be, EL Pleasures, vanilla musk, Chamade Guerlain, butter, garlic, chocolate, Polo Sport Woman, Lysol Spring Waterfall spray (HAHA)
what REALLY makes you mad? not getting my way. obstinate dimwits. flashbacks of bitter, better-left-forgotten memories. failure. pet peeves blown out of proportion enough to drive me insane.
favorite way to waste time trolling on IRC + message boards, pigging out, soundtripping — all at the same time.
if you won $50,000,000 what would you do with it? splurge on stuff, of course... on what? mamaya ko na lang sasagutan.
t is your best quality? I make self-deprecation & boredom seem & feel like fine art.
i have issues. but i also recognise this fact and do what i can to resolve those issues. i may have spent a long time letting those issues control me, but now i'm ready to take the upper hand and wonder about the world around me. i'm getting to be well-balanced, but i'm not quite there yet.
I REALLY hate the way I surprise — to the point of scare — myself sometimes... if this is what growing up is all about, having alien feelings surge like hell, I'd rather die right this very instant.
You're a bit of a paradox. You try to get everyone to like you, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. You usually wind up being the mediator; both non-menthol and menthol alike can be understood by you. It takes a special kind of person to smoke just you, however, and you're still waiting.
It was nice of my best bud to ask me what pasalubong I may want to get tomorrow if ever she drops by here... I told her I'm okay with whatever she can think of that I may possible like. I'm thinking Malen's brownies or my favorite Lay's chips, but nah, whatever she decides on getting me instead. I'm not really expecting anything anyway, since I don't want to be much of a fuss pa for her, & besides, whatever she gives me naman is greatly appreciated, no matter how trivial it may seem to other people, even to herself. I'm that mababaw somewhat, & food to me is a great pacifier + boredom-reliever, hehe.
For the life of me, I'm craving for lasagna, lechon kawali, & kare-kare as I type this whole thing up. I guess I'm that depressed tonight.
Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22) - If you let yourself go along for the ride, you'll have extra fun with a pal, spouse or steady. Love continues to puzzle and intrigue you.
Hmmm, what ride? Where to?
Damned if I do, damned if I don't...
I guess Love will always be despicably perplexing for me.
"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it.
For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it."
--Author Unknown
Uh...? Nah, I'm not pretty but she is, hehe, & I only love Shakespearean sonnets. I only read synopses of his plays. & yes, fuck, I *am* quirky. I don't mind my being so at all.
Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) - Nobody needs a critic, but everybody feels like nitpicking. Your best choice is to go for the congeniality award. Clean your living space to make room for someone new.
Fine. I'll just go shut up & do my own thing by rearranging my clutter.
"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him."
--Leo Aikman
I'm making major changes on my blog. Like, way major. The thing is, fumbling through HTML's real sick.
Dammit.
I hope you bear with me for the time being, if you are reading through this crap. Thanks so much.
Hmmm, for whatever's happening to me lately...
Today is so romantically gloomy. Perfectly chilly & overcast. I wish it'd rain, so I can sleep this afternoon. For kicks. After all, I need further inspiration. With my now-cranky self, I find it best to contemplate & write when I'd just wake up. There's so much more overdue stuff to do offline - rearrange my drawers & cabinets, reply to e-mail, sort out my old letterbox, even read up some more. Oh, not to mention Warcraft III. I can hardly wait to get my hands once more on the darned game. I don't feel like rebooting yet, though, so I can finally give it a go. Been a while anyway since I've tarried long enough online, as my brother is so engrossed with Dungeon Siege. The kids keep hogging the puter. My mom doesn't like it pa naman whenever I'm working on this PC. To hell with her. I'll get this blogpage up again, & trip on my games.
Speaking of my games, my second round in Archmage, as I was executed a few days ago by some stuck-up Eradication mage, I'm almost through with my spell research. Researching has never been smoother until now. I have only 84 turns left to learn Summon Earth Elemental & a few more to finish my Eradication spells. I hope nobody barges in yet so I can get every spell done by tonight or early tomorrow morning. Hehe, geekspeak.
Now if only I can figure out how to make more customizations to this page... *cries*
"Oh, no, not another one of them passed-around-junk-crammed-in-her-inbox kinda posts!"
THE HARDEST THINGS IN LOVE?
1. Flashing your smile to someone you don't want to see.
2. Bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget.
3. Showing that you care.
4. Finding a way to mend a broken heart.
5. Learning that you've been used by someone you truly love.
6. Saying "I love you" when you mean it and when you don't.
7. Letting go of a person you've just learned to love.
8. Rrealizing that you love somebody you've just taken for granted.
9. Realizing that you love the person you've just broken up with.
10. Waiting for promises you know she or he'll never keep.
11. Declaring your love for someone who loves somebody else.
12. Reminiscing the good times you shared together.
13. Shielding your heart to love somebody.
14. Trying to hide what you really feel.
15. Having a commitment w/ someone that you know would not last.
16. Trying to fight back the tears that inevitably pour down.
17. Sharing the one you love w/ someone else.
18. Loving a person too much. (which is harder, loving someone who can't love you back
or having someone that loves you so much yet you cannot love him/her the way he/she does?)
19. Giving up someone you never thought of losing ever.
20. Falling in love for the first time.
21. Loving someone you haven't even seen.
22. Having the right love at the wrong time.
23. Exerting effort to make the relationship last or work.
24. Not being appreciated when you know you've given your best.
25. Taking the risk to fall in love again.
26. Hiding your relationship from someone else, or from the rest of the world.
27. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend
28. Choosing between 2 persons whom you really love.
29. Finding out that you can never have back the person you just let go.
30. Seeing the person you love with someone else.
31. Learning that the person who claimed to have loved you so much never really cared
32. Seeing the one you love fall for someone else.
33. Falling for your best friend and knowing that things can never be the same again.
34. Learning to trust after you have been burned.
35. Accepting that it was not meant to be.
36. Smiling when all you want to do is cry.
37. Falling and knowing that it can never be.
38. Not being able to love the person who truly cares for you.
39. Saying that you can never love a person the way he loves you.
40. Hearing that he can never love you the way that you love him.
41. Saying that you are over someone whom you still love.
42. Being friends again and learning to let go of each other because you both know it is better that way.
43. Convincing oneself that you are not in love when you know that you are.
44. Having to let go because you know that he deserves someone else.
45. Trying not to remember how perfect everything used to be.
I have yet to fix this entry. This is for all my sap-infested buds, hehe, if ever they'd get to read this shyt.
I hope you all bear with my lying low until I get myself fully back on track...
Here's a list of more musings from my e-mail...
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain,
but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a
free trip around the sun every year.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know
you left open.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the
scenery on a detour.
The paradox of our time in history is that we have
taller buildings but shorter tempers,
wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but
enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families,
more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense,
more knowledge, but less judgment,
more experts, yet more problems,
more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly,
laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late,
get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much,
and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions,
but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information,
to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate
less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,
big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce,
fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers,
throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies,
and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window
and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology
can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose
either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones,
because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up
to you in awe, because that little person soon will
grow up and leave your side.
Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
because that is the only treasure you can give with
your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and
our loved ones, but most of all mean it.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes
from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for
someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak and give time to
share the precious thoughts in your mind.
This ditty I got from my inbox, thanks to my best bud in high school, sure is amusing:
Let's check if we're getting old... 1. You need to sleep more, until afternoon, after a night out.
2. Your friends are getting married.
3. You are always surprised to see small children playing comfortably with computers.
4. When you see teenagers with mobile phones, you shake your head.
5. You develop more and more feelings about your work. It's now your life.
6. You spend less and less time talking on phone with your friends daily.
7. You meet your friends from time to time, talking about the good old days, repeating again and again all funny stories your experienced together.
8. Having read this bit, you are thinking of making it known to some other friends. You think they will like it too....
Even if I don't look nor act entirely my age, I am getting old. Growing older each day. *sigh*
I'll add some more of my own observations to this list next time.
These occasional Seven Shots of Wisdom questions are quite too catchy to miss. Ripped this edition of queries from Toni.
1. What is your drug of choice?
Uh, would chocolate do?
2. What things are better than sex for you? (i'm not assuming you've had sex, it's just an expression)
I'm not sure, but maybe chocolates & exhilaratingly fun times with friends will do for now. Or even plain kissing. (uh, did I just say that?)
3. Which of the seven sins are you most often guilty of? (pride, anger, lust, sloth, envy, gluttony, greed)
I used to be into pride & anger. Now all I ever have is sloth, I guess.
4. If you could get rid of an emotion forever, which would it be?
Fear. Or even sadness.
5. What one day would you like to live again unchanged?
I can't say. I always seem to note even on my happiest moments that things could've been better if so & so were like this or that.
I'm soOoOo into detail like that.
But maybe the times I'd spend walking under a drizzle on a lazy afternoon would be fairly okay.
6. What day would you like to live again to change it?
My entire high school life. The day I realized I was flunking out of school due to abject misery. January 6th.
7. Which year of your life would you have skipped gladly?
All four years of high school, plus the tumultuous year after that. When I was 12, I was wishing I had to be 21 soon so I wouldn't have to put up with growing pains all brought upon with the onset & duration of puberty.
As hard as I could, I've been rummaging through my head for things to say, to no avail.
However, I think this poem from Paula Finn might just do the trick...
When You First Came into my Life
When you first came into my life...
I had no idea how easy you would be to talk to
and I never imagined that our early conversation
would grow into such a strong friendship.
I never suspected that we'd discover
so many common interest and values,
or that I could ever enjoy simple pleasures
as much as when they are shared with you.
I never thought we'd have so many
warm and happy times together,
or that your compassion would help so much
to ease me through the rougher times.
I didn't expect to feel so soon
as though I'd known you forever,
or to trust you so easily
with my secrets and deepest feelings...
I never thought
that your support could make such a difference,
that your encouragement would bring my dreams closer,
make my successes sweeter,
and my losses easier to accept.
I never imagined that I would grow to want, to need,
and to love you so much.
When you first came into my life,
I never dreamed you'd soon be someone
whom I couldn't live without.
"Educate yourself, and heighten your natural charisma by expanding your mind. Focus on building closer friendships, even with those whom you are already intimate. Profits will eventually come from what you are doing just for fun."
