The heart has its own reasons, which the mind cannot understand. The heart has its own dimension of being, which is completely dark for the mind, beyond the reach of it. It looks foolish. Love always looks foolish because it is not utilitarian. Mind is utilitarian. It uses everything for something else — that is the meaning of utilitarian. Mind is purposive, end-oriented; it turns everything into a means — & love can't turn everything into a means, that is the problem. Love in itself is the goal.
Love opens the eyes, love cleanses the eyes... your perception becomes clear.
Wow. In a matter of days it'll be a whole new ball game all over again, so to speak, & I'm hoping 2008's going to be redemptive of the craziness that is 2007.
It has been both a wonderful & wretched year so far, & despite all the blunders that I've committed & potholes that I've sprained myself into, I'm alright, THANK GOD. Let's chalk it up to Experience, yeah. I just hope I don't completely lose it before the countdown.
I was about to post a long Thanksgiving list but since I'm still too tired from work & keeping myself afloat in Warbook, until next time. For now, I'm just so glad that I'm home, & I really need to get more sleep. Crap, my hands are still strained from all those downward dog poses last Friday. It's so hard picking up where I've left off sometimes. A massage should be in order after tomorrow then.
Speaking of recalling the past, now this song is my first ever official favorite (but I love almost everything Beatles, as they're the first band I've actually liked & grown up with, of course) & I was 9 years old when I fell in love with this shit. Oh, how life was so much simpler back then! This was my lullaby, & I knew from the very start that Paul McCartney was warbling in French in some lines & that I want to learn Francais (to no avail until now, sadly, HAHA). Le sigh.
Progress is slow in WarBook, & I don't understand why this is deemed so much more fun than Archmage. Archmage was 10 times better, & I was 100 times stronger there even if I was alone. My request to join the War Sharks alliance is pending at the moment, & I'm getting tired of generals & moguls & mages double my level ransacking my kingdom every now & then while I wait for luck to shine on me so far. Most of my favorite targets are now too weak for me to pillage, & the last one had to join a formidable alliance & so he's now stronger than I am. I found a nice new target, though, & I will send fireballs her way, HAHAHA once I've recharged.
KOL is getting more boring by the minute. It's been a while since I've played. Maybe tomorrow I can start embarking on that Orcs VS Hippies quest to shake up the routine, but I really should be doing more worthwhile things with my time. It's just funny how players would hoard on silly items like Blackfly Chardonnay & pygmy blowguns by the bulk. :)) Go buy more from me, folks! I am so saving up on an astral badger.
Divine Mother Kuan Yin, Please take the soul of Kathleen, my dear departed one, into the sweetest corner of your mind, The most tender place in your heart, That she and I might be comforted.
For now she has gone, and I pray, Beloved Mother Kuan Yin, for the strength to remember she has not gone far.
For she is with you and shall remain so forever. She remains within me, for we are all in you together.
The cord that binds us one to the other cannot be cut, surely not by death. For you, dearest Kuan Yin, have bought us together, and we remain in eternal connection.
There is no power greater than your love. Death is not your master, nor mine. These things I believe and ask my heart to register.
I surrender to you Beloved Mother Kuan Yin, my grief. I surrender to you Beloved Mother Kuan Yin, my pain. Please take care of your servant Kathleen, my dear one who has passed. And please, Divine Mother Kuan Yin, take care of me.
Rest in peace, Kitsune Renata.
Dukkha Ku.
Goddess of the skies, Please respond to my cries. Lift me up in your strong arms, Away from those who seek to harm. Shield me from that awful rage, That shall face me day to day. Help me be strong in what I do, And help my heart to remain true. Give me strength to face each day. And the hardships before me lain. Let those who I love - love me in return, And everyday let me learn. I bid you Kuan Yin my spirit keep, While I'm awake and asleep.
I plead temporary insanity. I didn't want to act the way I exhibited myself these past few weeks, & if I had completely my way, I'd rather be basking in happiness, even if retail-induced. Maybe that's what I should do completely from now on, despite all the crap at work & the pile of junk in my room that needs immediate attention & my derailing social life & the stuff I need to write but just can't.
I've had the worst birthday this year, no doubt about it. I almost drowned twice & killed myself thrice, then bled to death for 3 days, lost valuable sleep, had my mother's hair clamp broken, lost a blouse that I'd dutifully wear to work with my mother's matching green brooch, cried buckets that eventually spilled on to mud puddles, took crappy pictures, lost a best friend & the love of my life in one go, binged on chocolate & other sickeningly tasty food, broke someone's nose, & had my left arm nastily bruised out of nowhere.
But all is still good so far. To enumerate, I scored a few silly items, like for example, a black velour jacket, a couple of fountain pen-shaped pepper sprays, & an Estee Lauder make-up bag from my mom (obviously the latter is useless to a make-up phobe like me). Then I had 2 caramel apples that I gave away to coworkers, & I had 2 chocolate cakes in return from peers. Lynne's staple RENT DVD & OST CD are with me now as well. Then my coworker Runey gave me a pug plushie on a furry pillow (though he declares I ain't seen nothing yet, as I don't deserve anything cheap daw). Jan-kun was nice to give me 2 silly Magic:The Gathering cards, but I'd really want a Hair-Strung Koto & a Cry of Contrition. Then 2 of my oldest friends Zhy & Rissa taking a vacation leave just for me on the 25th, even if we didn't get to enjoy the rest of the night, as I was too tired to go on. Then I treated myself to a slew of flirtinis/vodkatinis (my favorite is the new Virgin Gwen mix, & who knew I'd be a big fan of peach & cranberry combined?) even if I should steer cleer of booze. I also got a new tankini LOL (in the middle of the rainy season? laboooo). I'm also stuck with A Wrinkle in Time (honestly, I'm bored to death at this point with the book, & I'll have the fashionably gruesome Tales of the Otori anytime). Oh, then I had free massages, yay, & scented candles, woohoo, for the New Age freak in me. I also discovered new songs LOL.
Nevertheless, I feel like I'm better off dead at this point, & I had to learn the hard way that breakups are practically death sentences imposed upon oneself as much as marriages are. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, I guess. & PMSing without realizing it makes things so much worse. What did I fucking do to deserve all of this?
Now I know what it feels like to be fixated on a series of books (excluding Harry Potter) & Japan-inspired tales (Sandman: The Dream Hunters is way up high on my top fiction picks).
I just have to declare that Otori Shigeru is love, even if the entire series is dedicated to his adopted son, Takeo, part-Otori (purebred warriors & one of the strongest clans that time) & part-Kikuta (with superhuman, ninja-esque powers, mainly trained as assassins). I want all them other 4 books in hardbound, & I swear it won't take me forever to devour them all.
Another birthday present I got for myself is an aisle seat at the orchestra for this musical, & I immensely enjoyed it after my shift. What got my attention was, "ooohhh, puppets?" & that it was going to be running right across work.
It would definitely suck to be you if you didn't get a chance to see it. :P The total audio-visual indulgence of the year, & hooray for local delights! It hit right home, yo, especially with songs like Purpose, The More You Ruv Someone, & I Wish I Could Go Back To College wahahaha. RENT can go to hell.
& if it weren't for the fantastic Disturbia soundtrack (I was so glad I got to see the movie for free LOL!), I wouldn't have found out who was responsible my elusive favorite Crazy Bitch song! LOLOLOL. Yowza! \m/ Serves me right for taking a hiatus from rock radio.
This is so going to be a good year for a birthday, pota. Dito pa lang solb nako eh. But wait, there's more -- I got my first recommendation from a customer for a job well-done & I was literally bouncing on the production floor while pestering my unit manager to acknowledge it. So far, there are other 3 guys who usually get instances like this (& 2 of them are my teammates) & I'm really happy. 3 more Power of One cards to score, & my future is sealed by the end of my working year! :D
Everyone Worth Knowing (because I think I'm going to be sick of banking, too, & I'm a PR major to begin with LOL)
& something on feng shui, with matching compass & auxillary cards, just what I need to re-rearrange my room.
I still have a lot of other books to digest (& my entire room to rearrange as a result), but I'm too sick at the moment & all I care about at this point is just my upcoming birthday (which entails a whole lineup of events) & updating my wardrobe for... well, the dreadmill & then some.
I'm hoping to score perfect attendance for 2 weeks in a row. Premyo nun eh dress down. So pumapasok ako ng work na halos nakampambahay, as in parang mamumulot lang ng basura sa labas or so. HAHA. Hay buhay. Pero masayang mag-dress down din, & that makes me stand out from the usual slew of people in my industry (as in pare-pareho na itsura, mga suki ng Starbs at yosi monsters). So there. Pero here I am feeling sick AGAIN (tama bang sipunin twice in one month???) & in my pj's & di pa kumakain at nagbibihis. Maigah. But anyway, here's another survey. Sigh. I can't wait for my birthday!
1. Who knows the real you? - Ako lang, malamang. But the closest people so far would have to be my best friend & the beau.
2. When was the last time you went out? - Nung Sabado nga.
3. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? - Eh sino pa nga ba? ^^;
4. What song are you listening to? - Spacehog's In The Meantime.
5. What does it remind you of? - The good ol' days. Summer.
6. Last movie you watched? - Hairspray.
7. Which of your friends lives closest to you? - Taragis, wala! Lahat sila anlalayo na!
8. What CD is in your stereo? - Wala.
9. Do you drive? - Yes & no.
10. What did you do yesterday? - Coughed & sneezed & worked my ass off again & dealt with atrocious food for lunch, as always.
12. Do you wear contacts or glasses? - I should be wearing glasses now, too, pero weh.
13. What's your Dad's middle initial? - C.
14. Do you trust your friends? - Not all the time.
15. Who was the last person to call you? - The beau.
16. What annoys you? - Marami. Insistent PCMs, traffic jams, sucky weather, other delays, not getting my way, irritating personalities at work/school/whathaveyou, lack of sleep.
17. Would you move to another state/country to be with the one you love? - ARAY.
18. Next vacation you're going on? - Sa malayoooo!
19. Do you play any instruments? - Hindi na.
20. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? - Sometimes.
21. Do you want any piercings? - Not really.
22. Did you ever go to Prom? - No. Sinubukan ko pa ngang i-boycott wahaha.
23. Last time you went to the mall? - Last weekend nga.
24. What was the last thing you ate? - Double cheeseburger.
25. Which of your friends would make the best roommate? - Ewan ko. I like having my friends around but not all the time, yo. Possibly the beau HAHA or Lynne, even if she claims to be the roommie from hell. Zhy would be the best housekeeper, though.
27.Last thing you purchased? - Bacchus as usual.
28. Would you stop talking to your friend if they started hooking up with new boy/girl? - Hell no. Sila yung umiiwas saken.
29. Do people ever spell your name wrongly? - Yes, & that annoys me, too!
30. When's the last compliment you received? - Eto, nakakagimbal: what's my beauty secret daw? My skin is so enviable daw kahit dami ko nang peklat na ewan & my stubborn leg hair is growing back & my face is blotched like crazy. My sheer black skirt is a winner, too.
31. Are you watching tv? - No.
32. What do you find most attractive about the opposite sex? - Hindi ko rin alam. Baka pheromones lang. Or maybe I'm a frustrated guy at heart din. The beau's not really the typical boy eh, & that's the reason why I like him so much. :D
33. Last time you spent the night at someone's house? - Tagal na.
34. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed? - A few weeks ago! Pero it's the trend at work.
Megatron is the leader of the Decepticons. He will stop at nothing to establish his empire and destroy the Autobots, starting with Optimus Prime.
Like Megatron, you are not compassionate and harbor evil thoughts. You are inspiring, confident, and a natural leader. The Decepticons have chosen well. In addition, you enjoy being one step ahead of your friends as far as trends and technology.
NYAK wahahaha. Pero mas gusto ko pa ri si Soundwave!
It was too late for me to realize that it was a bad idea to drag a guy friend to the Rockwell Urban Bazaar this weekend. It was pretty much packed, dimly lit, with sassy girly merch all over the place. I just went there for the rain boots, hehe, as plugged by a blogging friend. I knew I should've bought the no-light incense formulas & a few necklaces for work & everywhere else, but my friends (including Lynne) hated how cramped the place was after lunch, so we sauntered elsewhere, like this quaint art exhibit along the mall's second floor. When we decided to watch a movie after all the hoopla, the queue at the cinema was too long for comfort, so we immediately trooped to Greenbelt 3 where we didn't have to line up & crap. Before we left, though, I got this book & my friends came up with suggestions on how to launch some of the ideas there.
Anyway, Surf's Up was lots of fun, being the animated flick + mockumentary sucker that I am, easily amused & shit. Chicken Joe was the coolest, as played by the quirky Jon Heder, not surprisingly, haha. But the animation was superb, the soundtrack was fun, & the baby penguins were cute. HAHA. Oh, & having Zooey Deschanel made it all the more noteworthy. But that's just me, I guess. This movie was so much better than Happy Feet, ugh, thank God. The latter's not even worth mentioning. We'll just save Rush Hour 3 for some later date.
In other news, this looks interesting. I can't wait for this year's Book Fair, & I hope I won't be broke by the time this annual event swings by.
& to make a long post longer, here's a lengthy meme, hehehe. I'm still sick & dreading work for tomorrow, & I'd rather waste time with this stint:
TEN EMOTIONS. 1. are you missing someone right now? Yes.
2. are you happy? Pretty much, but I've seen better days.
3. are you talking to anyone right now? Nobody's online. :(
4. are you bored? Not really. I'm supposed to be busy but here I am.
5. are you german? No, I don't think so.
7. are you chinese? Not entirely, but I get a lot of people asking me if I am.
8. are you asian? Yes, no doubt about it.
9. are your parents still married? Yes. *gasp*
10. do you love someone right now? Yes, a whole buncha them.
TEN FAVORITES. 1. television show: The Simpsons, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Forever Summer With Nigella, Everyday Italian, The Barefoot Contessa, The Surreal Gourmet.
I can say that a whole lot of things happened to me ever since my last update here. As in A WHOLE LOT. Work has been taking too much of my time & energy, but somewhat it's paying off, after scoring the highest productivity for April, then 2 Power of One cards (I'll need 4 more, though, sigh), & a higher scorecard grade, hehe, after getting transferred from one unit manager to another. I've also managed to consume half of our yearly alloted sick leaves -- much to my new manager's dismay, perform one supervisor call successfully for a teammate on my last break for that day, take part in our Focus Group to discuss with our head honchos *gasp* how to achieve improved service & efficient performance, & write my mid-year self-appraisal report for next month, even if my signature was required last Saturday at the last minute & I didn't go, thus missing our second team building as well because I was on leave the night before, hehe. I also had new tarot clients, while one of my most loyal fans will be leaving for Canada this weekend. I also paid someone else (some older guy) to read tarot for me & it felt rather freaky, actually, especially upon knowing how parallel our lives were. I'm also on a mission to go spring-cleaning at home, with much help from my kid brother, & I'm about to go insane with the lineup. I'm shifting my attention back to the household pets as well, but how can I simply feed the new pup & the old tomkitten without them fighting to death every now & then? Dammit. But anyway, I'm going to try to see things in a different perspective from now on, & not whine too much about work & the absence of my auld lang syne friends & my decade-long hangups. Since I'm in love with the Rockwell Center all over again, I'm going to get lost there more often, & try to update my blogs more significantly. I'm thinking of getting a new scent, too. If all that doesn't help me feel better, Goddd, I dunno what else will.
Anyway, regarding my KoL misadventures, I've finally defeated the goddamn Naughty Sorceress but I haven't ascended yet (I will once I reach level 19 in a bit) & I still don't have a million Meat in my stash. :( I still can't afford them fancy weapons & clothes & accessories, either. & I think NS13 sucks, as I don't have access to the Palindome anymore. So far, I've survived my wacky clan's Survivor games & I'm madly in love with Chefbot. I'm a KoL lush that way, you know.
1.What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? ** Highly interesting, hehe, but I'm too jealous & needy when I least expect it, so no fucking thanks. Come to think of it, I have yet to have sex with a significant other, haha, so ewan.
2.Do you bite your nails? ** Nope, I try not to ruin them especially when they're painted deepblue.
3.Are you a jealous person? ** Yes, even if it doesn't show.
4.What are you allergic to? ** Dust, antibiotics, spicy food, dimwits.
5.What books, if any, have made you cry? ** Haha, as dumb as it may sound, After Eden. As in. Then my heart would break into a million pieces everytime I'd read Sandman: The Dream Hunters.
6.Does it get annoying when somebody says they'll call you, but doesn't? ** Yeah, but I do that a lot, too, haha.
7.What is your favorite simple ice cream flavor? ** Chocolate. Mango. Pistachio.
9.What would you rather be doing right now? ** Sleeping.
10.What song lyrics, if any, are stuck in your head at the moment? ** Taproot's Mine.
11.What did you dress up as for Halloween? ** Nah, I didn't do anything.
12.What are your favorite TV shows? ** So far, the programs I'd kill for are Whose Line Is It Anyway?, The Simpsons, Everyday Italian, The Surreal Gourmet, Barefoot Contessa.
13.Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? ** The opposite, for some reason, even if they're jerks. Maybe because I'm a frustrated boy like that, hehe. But I like dealing with girls more at work.
14. Can others make you cry easily? ** Depends.
15.Who was the last person to piss you off? ** PCMs.
16.Are you picky about spelling and grammar? ** Yes, but strangely enough the beau's grammatical blunders are adorable, blech.
17.Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? ** I just read them when I feel like it, hehe.
18.If you could be any type of fruit, what would you be? ** Definitely a ripe mango, & no bright ideas, please, as that's the only fruit I can binge on without wincing.
19.How many hours of sleep do you need to function? ** More than the usual, & undisturbed at that.
20.When was the last time you slept on the floor? ** A few years ago, when I was drunk.
21.Have you ever been attracted to someone, but not physically? ** All the time.
22.What are some things that are needed in a relationship? ** I'm too sick to think of relationships right now, but COMPATIBILITY is way up my list.
23.Do you like traveling via airplane? ** A whole lot. The most preferable way, at that.
24.Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? ** Why not? :D
25.Do you believe the guy should pay on the first date? ** Yeah, wahaha, but I tend to offer for my share more often than not, even if my date would profusely refuse, so, yebah!
26.Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? ** Temporarily, yeah.
27.Which do you make: dreams or plans? ** PLANS.
28.Can you speak any languages other than English? ** Gibberish, aside from the vernacular, hehe.
29.What is your favorite salad dressing? ** Vinaigrette.
31.Has anyone told you a secret this week? ** Yeah, haha.
32.Have you told someone else that secret? ** No.
33.Would you rather take the picture or be in it? ** Take it.
34.Do you wear flip-flops? ** Yes. All the time.
35.If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? ** Pasta. But I get bored quite easily.
36.What's the sweetest thing someone has done for you? ** Be undisputedly dumb & crazy enough to fall for me.
39.What are the names that you go by? ** abbee, shdw, phyre, Andalusia, pare, chong, bro, dude, yo, Ate, Kuya, Mommy (drat coworkers), baby, love, peaches, angel, princess, mi bonita, Azusa, Cutthroat Il-Dal, the High Priestess.
Oh, mare (Lorna) & mi novz (Lynne) pa pala.
41.What are you thinking about right now? ** My head hurts. I can't update my other blog.
42.What's most un-appealing thing about the opposite sex? ** Being jerks, nuff sed.
44.Last text message saved in your inbox? ** My personal trainer's confirmation for next week.
So what have I been up to? Lessee... I've had 2 sick leaves for this year (but actually got sick thrice, & consecutively, like monthly, at that), no earnings whatsoever, lost a rare Starbucks Yuletide 2006 edition tumbler & my rare blue sturdy hair clip & my Tekken 5 data card with Lili in silver, a gazillion massages, more fine lines & wrinkles, gained 10 lbs. (part of what I lost significantly last year, after trying to kill myself with strength/core training + yogalates), less time to shop for necessities, a chiropractic appointment, 550,000 Meat in KoL & a handful of my favorite booze in coconut shells yay (I just hit level 18 today), a bunch of new acquaintances but still no close confidantes, lovely manicures at the Nail Spa, a haircut or two, a crying jag or so every month because of work, no word from my local Apivita Pedi Care relief gel retailer yet, a yearning for shift dresses & fancy girly baubles for work & weekend nights out, then no energy to update my tarot blog coherently as well as not much sleep to sustain my well-being. But I guess that's just how it is. So is this a good year? I'm still not sure. All I know at this point is that I want some ramen & Haagen-Dazs.
When I wake up in the morning... > that's practically a danger sign, since nowadays I need to be asleep in the morning, hehe.
Tomorrow... > I'll spend more time sleeping, like always.
I have low tolerance... > for the ff.: lousy Customer Service representatives, traffic jams, know-it-alls who can't deliver, sucky food, caffeine (but I still frequent coffee joints like crazy), the summer heat, cheap radio, sellouts, & nincompoops, among other atrocities.
Parties are... > yeah, are tiring to the core.
Life is... > overrated.
My past has... > scarred me for life.
I read... > tarot with a passion, but nowadays I'm just too tired for it. So help me, God.
I think tattoos are... > cool, provided they're Jin Kazama's. :P
I like being on time for... > work & gym, because it's a feat every single day, arrrrgh.
The greatest amount of alcohol I've had in one sitting/outing/evening... > 26 shots of tequila in one go, when everybody else has given up & thrown up their guts all over the place, to think it was my first time! :D
Single life for me... > can be very awesome.
I'm nice to... > pretty much everyone, depending on my mood.
I fear... > failure.
My favorite song right now is... > Paris Hilton's "Nothing In This World" wahaha (sya ba talaga kumanta nito?!) because it makes the day go by so much faster.
I'm too shy to ask a person out... > because I'm a prude like that.
I sleep with... > a quilt & half a dozen pillows & a pink bear plushie.
I dumped guys/girls... > because I didn't want to be unfair, especially to myself, & I do have an avoidant personality like that, hehe.
I would most likely travel... > if I know I'll get superb accommodations & a fantastic tour, which is so not happening anytime soon. I'd rather sleep, you know.
The last text message i received was... > the beau.
I last attended a party... > dammit, I can't remember.
The last movie that made me cry... > was Gray Matters, haha.
My ears are pierced... > & I'm bored with my earrings.
When my world crumbles I... > get a massage & sleep it all off.
The most romantic night I ever had was... > fictional.
Kissing is... > something I should be doing more often, haha, NOT.
Right now I'm thinking of... > raiding the neighborhood mall for supplies.
If I could do anything right now I would... > point a gun to my head, pull the trigger, & bid sayonara to all my frustrations. But maybe a bubble bath would suffice.
Monday's my new favorite day now, because I have more time to bum around & go around the metro as I please before work, as I hardly can do that anymore ever since I started my 9:30-6:30 shift. It's easy to go to work earlier than expected, & I feel like I'm ready to take on the world. However, today is a slight exception, because I have a stiff neck all of a sudden & I'm broke like hell. Payday's due next week, but I really need another massage. Last week we handled like 286 calls, & I dunno how much more can we muster this time. If we go past 350 I'll probably cry myself again to sleep, if not throw a huge tantrum on the production floor. But things are looking better, or so it seems, & my vacation leave's slated on the 18th. Right now I'm just reading more about work while trying to relax at the same time before I go out to get a few things.
So anyway, I finally defeated the Naughty Sorceress in KoL, but I'm not ascending yet. Maybe when I win the Potentate of Pasta trophy, which is possible when I hit level 30 (so far I'm 13 levels away from that goal), & that other hidden spell in the Haunted Mansion. Oh, well. It was so much fun.
Spider-Man 3 was awesome, btw. Venom was the bomb! Too bad he had just a short stint onscreen. I really didn't like Topher Grace here, though. I wonder if Venom will be back? & the Green Goblin made me cry, haha. But I'm just biased since my kid sister (R.I.P.) & I liked him in the first movie. The action scenes between him & Spider-Man were breathtaking, I gotta say. Watch out for the funny stuff, though.
Oh, before I forget, I'm thinking if I should go to this year's company summer outing right after work at the end of the month. I'm thinking of bailing out, as it's cheaper that way, but maybe I should stock up on beach necessities & book a room for myself at the end of the day. I hate long bus rides like you wouldn't believe. But maybe once we get back to our building after lunch the following day, I could join a yoga class & re-visit the nearest art museum. Whatever. I should file for another vacation leave immediately next month so I could rest some more. It's not easy feeling dead every week, you know.
Dear abbee, Here is your horoscope for Friday, April 20:
Even the most natural social animal needs a little solo time. Do what it takes to recharge your popularity batteries. Maybe that means a low-key gathering or a night alone with a good book.
I can only wait until my first vacation leave for the working year. Oh, & for payday. Hehe. Crap, my biorhythm reading was so dead on -- true enough, I am despicably tired this weekend!
Thanks, AJ, for reminding me that empathy is a hard skill to learn, & that means having "very empathetic to clients — just continue" remarks on one's coaching log is a big plus. I shouldn't wait for all the other bad comments about my productivity, but count all the good points to my heart's content.
I'm still not sure if I'm getting a Katamari Damacy DVD for our PS2, but maybe this week. I need all the diversions from work I can get my hands on fast. Kuro, one of the Prince's quirky cousins, is my favorite character. :D I'm the queen of kawaii silliness, after all, & it wouldn't do me justice if I didn't have that in my el wacko perpetua collection. I want a Katamari Damacy icon!
I also got a Tekken 5 data card for my Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection arcade trips, but 4 losses as opposed to 7 wins isn't good. Grrr. My coworker has his Lili customized like crazy now — I wonder if I'll ever to get spice my Lili's gear up like that. Well, whatever. At least I know I'm a only few points away now to a Platinum game card, & I can't wait until my next birthday. :))
The Romeo & Juliet 2 portrait at the Painting Shakespeare exhibit at the MuseumSpace last Saturday afternoon almost moved me to tears. Seriously. Coincidentally, after remembering that my membership must've expired, I got a membership form mailed to me at home so I might as well swing by again tomorrow, before my first ever Nike Rockstar Carribean Workout class. Yikes. Hopefully I'll get to hang out with Zhy & Rissa by then as well after the longest time.
I also have to thank Lorna for a wonderful weekend at The Rub & Amici di Don Bosco, hehe. That surely helped me big time, & I'm a bit more ready now to face the world again despite all the hassles. (You are a glorious friend, mare. I wonder if I'll have enough courage to get an oral prophylaxis from your dentist, however.) Eep. I need more sleep, though! >:( Especially with the way I almost slept through the TMNT movie just so I could make the summer heat pass, which, btw, was hilariously awesome. I've always liked Raph even if I'm not so much of a fan & he had minimal exposure in the original animated series compared to his wackier brothers. Oh, & I've always thought that Leo is a fucking wuss.
We also have a new puppy, quite unweaned. I don't get to spend time with it much but I still think he's absolutely cute. Our resident tomcat Sunspot doesn't seem to have problems with it so far, hehe.
Remind me to get this book this week while everything's on sale. I admit I'm swamped with 3 more magazines to read but I could use all the literature to revv up my dwindling thought processes.
15. anong kulay ang suot mo ngayon? Black & white.
16. anong kulay ng bed sheet mo? Maroon, pero papalitan ko na mamaya.
17. kung merong kang 1 hundred thousand dollars ngayong oras na to anong gagawin mo? Bibili ng bagong sasakyan, bagong pc, atbp bagong gear para samen. Kung may matitira pa, siguro plane ticket na din, hehe.
18. kung may isa kang wish na gustong matupad as in ngayon na, ano yun? Mag-improve metrics ko sa trabaho at magkapera syempre, wahaha.
19. anong gusto mong gawin sa mga oras na to? Matulog pa pero kakagising ko lang eh.
20. sinong pinaka huling tao ang naiisip mo bago ka matulog? Depende. Minsan yung walang kakwenta-kwentang tao pa nga!
21. anong iniisip mo pag gising mo sa umaga? Usually po patulog pa lang pag umaga!
22. sino sa mga friends mo yung alam mong pwede mong pagkatiwalaan? Lahat sila pinagkakatiwalaan ko. Thing is, wala na silang panahon para saken. Pang-asar, diba? Pero OK lang. Next time ako naman ang too busy to talk to you, hmph!
23. sino naman sa kanila yung pinaka gusto mong kasama? Lahat sila kung pwede. Hoy, mga hinayupak, sa birthday ko ha, walang mawawala!
24. sino naman sa kanila yung madalas mong makasama? Si Lynne.
26. may best friend ka ba sa opposite sex? Aside from my brother, the beau.
27. kung may pagkakataon possible bang maging kayo? Naging kami na nga ng the beau, sos.
28. sinong huli mong naka text? Pucha sino nga ba? Sina Lynne, Mommy Zen (former co-trainee), Alan, Jean.
29. sino huli mong nakausap sa phone? Sonny ata, o nanay ko.
30. na-inlove ka na ba? WAHAHAHA.
31. in love ba sya sayo? Karamihan sa kanila, HINDE.
32. nagka-boyfriend/girlfriend ka na ba? WAHAHAHA both?
33. sino ang trip mong kasama sa mahabang biyahe at bakasyon? Alan, my kid sibs, Lynne.
34. sino crush mo ngayon? Gudlak naman.
35. ano talent mo? Pumalpak sa metrics, kumain, gumastos, matulog nang wala nang pakialam sa surroundings, tumanga, mag-commute, mamburaot ng mga tao whether unsuspectingly or otherwise.
It's a real challenge to relax now, even if this is what you imagine for the day. Instead, there may not be a lot of downtime because of the exciting Venus-Uranus sextile. Still, give yourself permission to enjoy the sweeter moments when they do happen. But don't try to plan too much, for your schedule will only fall to the wayside anyhow.
You might have faced some tough times, or learned some hard lessons, but now is a time for you to persevere and tap into your hidden or inner resources. Because of your stubborn refusal to give up, you may find yourself with the opportunity to remain standing after all the dust settles. No matter how difficult things may seem, recognize that you are a survivor with the strength to manifest your will. Don't let anyone or anything keep you down. This could be a last challenge or test of your character before a great victory, so don't give in to resistance yet, for you have made it this far. Everyone suffers loss of one kind or another, but it is important not to let it make you bitter, suspicious, or deceitful by putting up a wall around yourself. Take a moment to assess or reassess your goals or priorities to remember why you are doing what you are doing, as well as savoring the little victories.
I had a very interesting week. I thought I wouldn't make it, but I actually did. I feel pretty lucky, especially when I got late for training last Tuesday & we got off the hook, haha. ^_^ I'm so liking the progression of things. But I will need to make time for rewriting/reviewing my notes, rearranging my room, & rejuvenating this weekend if I want to keep the winning streak. Sigh.
LIBRA: On Saturday, you may discover a new creative talent you never knew you possessed, thanks to the New Moon in Aquarius. On Sunday, the Sun enters Pisces, and your focus may be on your daily job and on ways you can maximize your talents to get ahead. You may experience some restless feelings and in an effort to bring some change into your life think about switching jobs. It might be that you have a good job but need to revitalize other areas of your life, so think first before you switch.
ANO BA NAMAN YAN, HINDI PA NGA AKO NAKAKAPAG-UMPISA EH I'LL BE THINKING ABOUT SWITCHING JOBS NA? HAHAHA. DI BALE KAYA KO 'TO. IF THINGS DON'T WORK OUT, I CAN ALWAYS OPT TO JUMP SHIP. AT LEAST, AFTER MY MINIMUM CONTRACT. :P
Well, wish me luck. I'm about to drag my brother out of bed so he could go with me while I submit my requirements before my training this Thursday. Maybe I can wheedle him into watching The Holiday with me, even if I myself would probably gag somewhere midway into the movie. Besides, I've already thought out this whole summer job shit. It's not going to be the central point in my life to the point of dependency, even if it'll be taking so much of my time & energy, like school. But, just very much like school, I need this to broaden my horizons, no matter how cliche that goes now, & this will come very handy in the future. I hope. Whatever. I just hope I don't chicken out. Oh, please, I hope I'd really commit this time.
I wonder why this card keeps popping up during readings, whether actual or automated. Perhaps because of the upcoming Mercury retrograde? I sure hope it'd be a blast.
If you are considering taking up a form of study, now may be the time to answer the call, for it is truthful and without deceit. Also, make time for fun. Go to an amusement park. The particular thrill of the park can peel away layers of any false sophistication, leaving only the core being which is able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Just try going on a roller coaster with your partner or best friend and not feeling alive down to your very center. See if you don't start running like children to get in line for the next ride, screaming when you want, laughing whenever you are moved to do so, being patient, but anxious as you wait your turn, and openly admitting your fears or happiness as you confront "the next ride." This can be life on the outside as well. Be prepared for a possible "blast from the past," and perhaps even the opportunity to revisit a time of good intentions, carefree indulgence, and generosity. If you are offered the chance to forgive or be forgiven, accept it without ulterior motive.
It's Oyster Egg Day! The Enchanted Flying Oyster came last night and hid his magical eggs all over the Kingdom of Loathing!
Grab a basket at the Market and go egg-hunting!
Today is a very special KoL day, & too bad I got too drunk for the goddamn egghunt. So there. Yes, I'm officially a KoL lush, & what I'd usually do on my spare time & with spare Meat (the official KoL currency) is mix or buy drinks & cook or buy food. This game is nuts. I LOVE IT. Haha. I'm now a Macaroni Magician, & I really would like to thank everyone who's given me support, yay.
Anyway, I got a funny little book last weekend, depicting how A.A. Milne's classic Winnie the Pooh story is a very mystical tale, indeed, & that Pooh Bear himself is a Supreme Mage, exhibiting Druidic powers & traits, HAHA. It's one of my favorite children's classics, & I'm very amused to know that Pooh is speculated to be Libran. :P Tigger's a Sagittarian, Rabbit is a Leo, Piglet is Cancerian, & Eeyore is Virgo.
OK, thanks to Deric, I now have my old web-based RPG persona back in action, haha, but this time, in Kingdom of Loathing. It's fucking cute & funny, & I'm now a Pastamancer, wahaha. Here are my stats so far:
Level 2 Yeast Scholar
Statistics:
Current Hit Points: 5 Maximum Hit Points: 8
Current Mana Points: 4 Maximum Mana Points: 9 (base: 4)
Muscle: 5 (1/11)
Mysticality: 6 (3/13)
Moxie: 4 (0/9)
Adventures remaining: 49 Meat: 0
Account Created: January 31, 2007 Turns Played: 32 Days Played: 0
Advancement:
You must gain 2 Mysticality to advance to level 3.
Skills:
Manicotti Meditation Type: Noncombat MP Cost: 1
By meditating on your Manicotti Mandala, you can achieve oneness with the pasta which makes up the underlying structure of reality. Your Magicalness will increase for a period of time.
Inventory:
Equipment: Ravioli Hat
This is a hat fashioned from an oversized ravioli. Or maybe raviolus. We were never sure about that one.
Type: hat Power: 10 Selling Price: 1 Meat.
Pasta spoon
This is a pasta spoon, weapon of choice of the Pastamancers. While similar to the rasta spoon, the pasta spoon is used more for making noodle magic than for summoning reggae music.
Haha, & after using my first skill for the first time, voila:
You meditate. Magicalness courses through your veins. You acquire an effect: Pasta Oneness (duration: 5 Adventures)
You feel at one with the forces of the pastaverse. Your fingers pulse with Magicalness.
My Mysticality is now 8 (6/13) & my Maximum Mana Points is now 12. Yipee! I'm now off to kill some evil bunnies in the Dire Warren in Mt. Noob. HAHAHA.
[EDIT: 1:50 AM] Level 3 nako, so I'm now a Noodle Neophyte, ahaha, & I'm somewhere in The Distant Woods, with only 4/8 HP, crap! This is fucking addicting. I wonder if I'll ever survive training without missing a game! I only have 19 turns left, though. Let's share stats!!!
[EDIT: 2:45 AM] I just made a new "friend" in the game, & she gave me a tonload of items! Then I had some guys conjure Jalapeno Saucesphere & Tenacity of the Snapper on me, so I'm quite invincible now, I think. HAHA this is so much fun! :D Too bad I have to earn turns again. This game requires a lot of eating, crap... just when I'm on a diet. Anyway, I just joined a clan for more adventures & stuff. Too bad Deric joined something else more snooty-sounding. :P
Haha, just in case you didn't know, I am uh, a real life pastamancer. Or pastamanceSS. Whatev. :P
Whenever I'm AFK, I usually have a lot of ideas buzzing in my head that I would like to blog about & that would make a lot more sense than what I'd usually end up posting... but for some reason when I log in & try to start typing, my mind goes blank in an instant & all I'd remember is how cold it feels today, for example, that I think I'm about to get sick again. Copying whatever I've jotted down during the flashes-of-insight deluge won't help; I can barely decipher what I've scribbled on my Post-Its & shit.
So I might as well talk about the little mundane details of my life, hehe. For this month, at least:
1) I've had new 'clients' for my ever-controversial hobby, & I think I've made another convert who'd want to learn more about the craft, hehe. I wonder if I'd meet more people before I'd be too busy for socializing (sometime after Valentine's Day) I hope I can rake in more bucks — I just want to feel better about myself as a New Age geek.
2) It's been a month since I haven't been working out, & I miss it. Maybe tomorrow.
3) I'm about to finish my mobile phone's silly Snakes game, but the last maze to go through is an ABSOLUTE motherfucker. The highest score I've gained untallied so far is 308,000 while the highest saved is only 294,755.
4) The cam on my phone's still busted, but this should only take another software reflashing/upgrade & it's good to go. Maybe tomorrow, while I'm completing pre-employment requirements for my supposed corporate debut, hehe.
5) The last movie I've seen is Stranger Than Fiction, & I want to see it again. Maybe even score a DVD, along with that of Little Miss Sunshine. Because of it, I've become totally fascinated with Maggie Gyllenhaal as a result, who's coincidentally a Scorpio (no wonder she's sexy!) I love her as Ana Pascal, & Will Ferrell is quite a lucky bastard for teaming up with sultry women onscreen, like Nicole Kidman.
6) Too bad I wasn't able to enjoy the Star Wars weekend TVthon at Star Movies, but at least I saw the whole, "Luke, I am your father" hoopla, hehe. Even if my brother has the whole (uh, hexology?) on DVD, I still like bumming around watching how bad the movies really were to begin with; save for the special effects, costumes, & quirky characters like C3P0, R2D2, Yoda, Jabba the Hutt, & Chewbacca, haha. No matter what diehard fans would say, I like Darth Vader's pre-Dark Lord story best.
7) I've decided at the last minute to score this year's silly coffee shop specialty planner, & I have only until tomorrow to collect stickers for the stub (which was given to me by Lynne) I really hope my brother would go with me tomorrow. At this point, I don't feel like wandering alone.
8) I'm excited for this but if I want to see live performances I'll be disappointed pala if I go on Saturday, hehe. I hope I can participate next year.
9) My hair's a bit shorter now. Unrulier, too, even if I've spent much on treatments this month alone. Ergo, I'm ugly as ever, hehe, & the odds of my dying as a spinster are worsening as we speak.
10) This year's going to be all about soul-searching & starting anew. I think I'm going to be able to cry myself to sleep again (which is actually good for me) especially with my new pursuits to undertake. Will I survive this summer? I sure hope so.
Crap. Haha, drudgery is so much easier to write, indeed.
I decided to see Innocent Voices yesterday afternoon before going home. Let's just say I will never forget how the little hero's friends were killed right before he was saved by his uncle, & how the village priest made his presence felt all throughout the film, especially during his last sermon to the townspeople. Honestly, I hate war, too, even if I like Sun Tzu's book about the subject, one of my favorite games is Warcraft 3, & my dad was in the military, who hardly discussed his exploits with us until just recently. Despite my suicidal ideations as well as penchance for violence & hot fictional Oriental female assassins, I still pray for everyone else all over the world who has to deal with wars of the worst kind up to this day.
TOP 5 MOVIES 5. The Banquet 4. Marie Antoinette 3. V for Vendetta 2. Little Miss Sunshine 1. RENT
TOP 5 BOOKS 5. 4. Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince 3. Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix 2. Mythic Tarot Workbook 1. Osho Zen: Game of Transcendence
TOP 5 SONGS 5. Paramita - Hiling 4. Sarah McLachlan - World on Fire (Les Mills' Body Balance mix) 3. Stone Temple Pilots - Big Empty 2. Prince - Lolita 1. Urbandub - First of Summer
TOP 5 ALBUMS 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Rent OST
TOP 5 TV SHOWS 5. Kapamilya Deal or No Deal wahaha 4. Hwang Jini 3. Oprah Primetime 2. Princess Hours 1. The Simpsons
TOP 5 MUSIC VIDEOS 5. 4. 3. 2. Urbandub - First of Summer 1. OK Go - Here It Goes Again
TOP 5 DISCOVERIES 5. Capricciosa 4. vanilla milkshakes & baked clams at 4am 3. camomile tea 2. Circles 1. yoga
TOP 5 CUTE GUYS 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Joo Jin Hoon
So obviously I haven't been watching too much TV, don't get attracted to cute guys anymore, & need to see more music videos next time. Sigh. More books, too.
Sometimes we just need to determine when to draw the line or prod further: while other women are going great lengths to save the world as much as they can, I have to keep myself pretty balanced. Not too aggressive, not too shrinking, either. Not sell myself short, but at the same time not overestimate myself, lest I'd bite more than what I can chew. Looking back at my failures & utterly surreal experiences since childhood, with someone insightful enough (especially when I least expect it, like my mother, would you believe?!) to help you reflect on such, I think I can handle 2007, the same way I got through life from 10 to 16 years ago. I just need to draw that inner strength & serenity again. It just pains me that everytime I get to think of it, I'd realize I'm so much more interesting & resilient (though more clueless in a sense, of course) when I was younger. Now I'm just...
Well, scratch that. I should end this by declaring how re-empowered & re-energized I feel after much contemplation, like I always would when I'd stay up to watch the sun rise &/or set in my childhood home, without worrying about temporal trappings & other comforts. Though I'd need to make a trip back there soon.
