Been very, very tired... been 2 nights running since I missed out on dinner as I went straight to bed after school... been sore yet utterly diffused... nevertheless, I'm just fine.
Hung out with Lyn yesterday afternoon... I feel guilty for altering her plans to visit her beau earlier than the time we decided to pack up, but I guess it's OK, since we really needed to bond badly. The heat yesterday was just too draining; thought I wouldn't be able to make it. Had to oversee the preliminary screening of Choral Fest participants for the St. Augustine Feast Day next month, in lieu of Ma'm Pam. Anyways, I'm glad to be working with her this semester. I sure hope the whole choir thingy would work out well later. Which reminds me, I have to be in school by lunch time today.
I unhappily flunked my 2nd quiz in FL... thought I could make it to having half of the total score... too bad didn't work out that way. Pathetic. But then again, I dun take it so badly. It's just a clear, in-my-stuffed-up-face sign that I should exert more effort lengthening my attention span, patience, & determination rate. I'll be taking make-up quizzes in OCS & Org Comm later. Then the dreaded oral exam in Japanese... *groan* Dammit, I need a break!
Was late for several days this week. Hope to make it on time this time. Don't want to appear "unprofessional".
Am getting more & more hooked to STP by the minute, by the way.
Friday was the pits. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, & ended up late for all my other classes. Good thing we didn't have PR or FL - or else I would've freaked out! I missed out on my quizzes on OCS & OrgComm... bummer.
Good thing Jane wasn't able to take the quiz last Wednesday! Now I can sure team up with her later. Damn, uh-oh, I just remembered... the class is supposed to have a graded oral exam today til Friday. Hmmm, might as well slate my sched for that on the last day.
Pre-Prelims activities suck! Plus the ruckus regarding our Gala Night due next weekend isn't making me feel any better. Have to finalize plans on my gown, shoes, make-up, means & time to get to the venue, programme to deliver, partner for the programme, & WHOOOPS!!!! The waiver for all LIA students for that momentous night! ARGH.
Today will be another long, hectic day. I have to come up with feature articles for publication due next month. Well, the drafts for that are easy, but with the waiver thingy - that's an entirely different story.
Hung out with Kathz just before I headed home. A headache surfaced right after.
Fixed my stuff for school last night. Bummed out the whole weekend - again. We weren't able to go online; problems connecting to the local ISP arose. That's OK, at least I was able to think about other pending stuff, like rewriting my lectures & reviewing for a tonload of make-up quizzes due later.
Boyyyyyy, am I so drained. And to make things worse, feelings of being hung-up are still present.
If I were to die this mornin'
Would you tell me things that you wouldn't have?
Would you be my navigator?
Would you take me to a place we could hide?
As I'm fallin' out
I wonder what I lost
Must be movin' on
Know I'll be waitin' here alone
I wanna ask you to forgive me
I haven't been the best with all that I had
Wish I'd only lay beside you
I think I spread myself a little too thin
As I'm fadin' out
I don't feel anything at all
Think I'm movin' on
Know you'll be safe but not alone
You're the everything
That led me to believe,
"Hold on, hold on"
You're the wonder in everything that's wonderful.
"You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm." --- Colette
That's why despite the crap in this online journal I'm still up for it. Keeping this actually makes me focused on things. Makes me wanna wake up & sit in front of the puter just about everyday babbling trivialities.
Don't get me wrong, though. I basically don't want to make this utterly trashy, but then again, with my current state of being busy yet heavily procrastinating in school, home, & with my torturous mental spiral - this is what you get. A flimsy recollection of the things I've done collectively for the past few days.
I always want to come up with better stuff to say... like give an insightful run-down of the things, events, & encounters with people that have made me reflect on my present life & what I want to do when I get older & finish school. However, with the fatigue, everyday worries, & other inevitable distractions - I can hardly remember how to put everything all in one little neat literary package. Matters like that shouldn't be just transcribed right then & there. Care on how I'm supposed to relate such should be observed. I dunno, but that's how I see it should be.
I hope to present something more palatable after prelims... by that time, I'm halfway through with all the fuss that's keeping me down & edgy ever since school started.
Still can't sleep. Am so hyper. I'm off to start the day with a few chores - preparations for school later included. I'm getting a big kick out of my MOTD.
I promised Pam I'd sit in her class with the gang later. I sure hope to make it FINALLY there this afternoon.
Ohhhh, for the love of God I need to learn how to RELAX! /me is hella jittery
So I profess to be a big STP fan. I have all their albums, from my high school anthem miscellany Core to the recent No.4 project. Even though I haven't got any other single item brazenly declaring to the whole wide world to state how much I'm into them (I have a Pearl Jam "ALIVE" keychain though, clipped to my backpack to "designate" my passion for the grunge "lifestyle" - talk about poserlewzer stuff!), I'm still hooked. I think they're the greatest ever. Never mind the other, "kewler" bands around in the industry. I'd do just about anything to see `em live & kickin' ass onstage here in local shores. As in, anything.
My sis excitedly blurted out the news of their new vid & album which was launched last month in the U.S. How come I never heard of it, I wondered out loud to her. I must be this too caught up with everyday affairs. I'm soooo low on sleep lately that even glutaphos isn't working any effect upon me! Anyway, I can hardly wait to find out the developments for myself. I heard the carrier single over NU a few days ago. Who can ever miss Scott Weiland's raspy, searingly engulfing vocals & the trademark STP sound as a whole that the band had impressed on their music? However, I wasn't so sure if it were actually them doing the track, alright. Didn't expect a follow-up to their fourth LP come out so soon.
I have to get my hands on their new dish-out. So on Staind's.
At last, I'm once again overly passionate on something else. Somewhat.
Monday, back from the dead
I’m letting it go, back for another one
Tuesday, shoot me in the head
I’m takin’ it back , takin’ it back
I’ll take it back
Wednesday, she’s lookin’ for a friend
She’ll get what she wants
Can’t seem to get enough
Thursday, it’s more than I can stand
I’m holdin’ her down, holdin’ her down
She’s down again
I gotta find a way to find her
Where could she be?
Four days of the week
She thinks I’m the enemy
One day, left me for dead
Woke up on the floor, time for another one
Two days, she’s leavin’ me again
Can’t take it no more
Out through the open door
Three days, she’s found herself a friend
She got what she wants
Still never get enough
Four days she’s back with me again
She’s pullin’ me down, pullin’ me down
I’m down again
Monday’s gone
Tuesday’s fadin’
Wednesday’s gone
Thursday’s all but wasted now...
I failed to woke up early today. When I woke up around 10am, I decided to cocoon in bed for all the hell they care. I slept well, I guess. I got up around 5pm.
Kathz called me up. Well at least I felt better. She'll be going online in an hour, so I might as well wait up for her.
Rica & Natty just beeped in, too. Lyn did as well, while I was asleep this afternoon. But I still feel hazy.
Mom & Sonny got home from the local mall. Damn, I wish I went along with them.
Dinner... hmmmmmm. I might as well work on my case analysis due on Monday & notes on Japanese numbers.
MONDAY. We were all geared up to go overnight for the following day's feeding program at a public school in a depressed area. It was a yearly affair of our organization, so we had no choice but to get set. It was a fun night anyway, with the gang pepped up with bonding stories. How nice to hear them think highly of me all along, & to let them know how much I regard them as well. I just hope we'd stay this way til we'd all lead separate lives.
I had to brace myself for our very first ever pop quiz in Nihongo in 2 days. Then there was the case study to read in Org Comm & the report to worry about. Then we skipped classes in OCS to have our permits ready for the outreach program. Man, I was tired but excited to join the gang for a day.
TUESDAY. Jim & I only had 2 hours of sleep... I could hardly wait to go to class after the feeding program. I brought some cam film along, worth only 12 shots, though - and 4 PSX fighting game CD's: Rival Schools, Bust-A-Groove 1 & 2, Pocket Fighters. We all left MJ's place to cook at Aljoe's around 5:30, & played video games after helping the latter's mom a bit with preparing stuff for the yummy sopas. I hafta admit I ate a damn lot at Aljoe's (& yeah, his mom's the tops!) - but it sure paid off, cause we were all beat after the gig! My party of five was there, along with a few cohorts: Kamil, Jopie, Gie, & Phen. The grade school kids were oh-so cute! Being nice & happy & stuff. I wish we could have a program like this at least every month. I think I might want to be a teacher there too when I'm all stable enough to do so.
When I got home around lunchtime, I was so stinking & bushed that I got late for film class. The long-overdue assignment that we had was taken into account as a quiz since my classmates failed to pass them that day. It wasn't so bad, except for the fact it was hard racking my brains if I was feeling like I was half-dead. Then I managed to attend our computer fundamentals class, which was totally... @#$%^&@!!! But it was all gewd. I had the time of my life. I was dead tired.
WEDNESDAY. I woke up dazed & confused, with my uniform & the lights still on! Good thing we didn't have any classes again in OCS & PR, & yet the case study in Org Comm was due on the next 2 days. I could die at that moment with my Nihongo test in a matter of hours. With all the luck I have in the world, I've managed to run into my FL professor on our way to recess, & I felt sicker than ever. The test went fairly well... despite my inability to remember the Japanese terms for building, church, & baggage, hehehe. Oh, & not to mention what do itterasshai & dewa mata/ja mata mean. Remind me never to take any test without getting ample sleep beforehand. (Can I go ahead & die now?)
Jammed at Kathz's anyway, with Lyn whoohoo!!! Oh, well. Kathz has all the luck. After their Mandarin class was dissolved, they were required to take Nihongo too. They have this really, really nice prof who not only taught about the language but the culture per se. Friendly, knowledgeable, & approachable, classes under her would surely have fun learning damn FL. *sigh*
THURSDAY. Another tiring, T-I-R-I-N-G day. We had no classes whatsoever but I spent the whole day roaming to & fro the darned campus halls looking for our club advisers & the rest of the gang. I had more permits to secure & lists to make. Fuck. I ate a lot in school & still I was drained of all energy. So when I went home that night I was so sore all over I actually forgot all about the case study we had to present the next day...
FRIDAY. Woke up around 2:30 a.m., after realizing I fell asleep after typing in club documents & missing out on the whole case analysis outline. I reread the case & finally (yeah, FINALLY!) understood the damned write-up. But I wasn't able to finish the 'bloody' outline for the written report... couldn't help but snooze after making & eating breakfast. I missed out on radio production & Org Comm like crazy, & was late for OCS. But it wasn't at all that bad. We finally had PR & realized that the "decision sequence framework" was more like the SWOT analysis outline. Darnit. How clueless can we get?!
For FL we have to memorize all these damn numbers, prepare on a quiz for Wednesday next week, & on Friday review for our graded recitation due on the 23rd. Sheesh. Then a week after that, prelim exams are all out for us. Fuckin a. It's all quite easy; however, I can't help be perplexed with everything.
Bonded with Jim & Aljoe after. Missed Lyn & Kathz. Went home with some of the LIA3 kids. Logged in the "pit" shortly after & up to now I'm still here.
FRIDAY. Our prof in PR had to call in sick but he sure did leave an assignment to discuss on Monday. We had no classes basically to make way for the society's official organization's elections... & a Mass was held in honor of 1st Friday. We were at the IMC the whole time; FL classes were postponed, I think.
The whole gang made it to the top 6 positions in the organization... from President to Treasurer. Oh, count in Phen, who became Assistant Treasurer. I became the Secretary for this term - my highest office bagged ever in my entire school life in our home society. I became P.R.O. for 2 years, which I have to admit wasn't much of my priority back then. I had bigger positions & problems at hand, like my presidencies [hahaha] in the Science & English Clubs, as well as the supreme student council. ^-^ Now I'm all out focusing on this baby, my home department society. Too bad we guys couldn't hold a decent victory grouping afterwards; MJ had to leave with her boyfriend. But the rest of us sauntered in McD's, since Charo was hungry to the point of throwing vehement fits on the spot if we didn't bother to join her eat before we all went home.
I stayed at Kathz's... Sean's finally 6 months old, so that means I can now cuddle him in full force ehehe. Marivic was there, & we went home full & hyper.
Too bad at home I had to bear Mom's beratings. Some people just have all the luck, tsk.
WEDNESDAY. The gang & I plus Phen were at Aljoe's yesterday - feasting on popcorn as well as on Marvel VS Capcom, X-Men Mutant Academy, & Tekken 3 on PSX. The typhoon made the day dreary & gusty, but it was all good. We had fun nonetheless. I almost didn't make it to school because Dad advised me not to anymore, but I insisted. shadowkat & cohorts hopped to the mall shortly before lunch. There was a power outage when we all went home around 8pm, that lasted for 4 hours or so. I decided to go to sleep immediately after, letting a tealight candle out flicker longer before I snoozed out.
YESTERDAY. Did almost nothing. The weather was still cold; the day seemed lifeless. Still got in touch with Kathz, Lyn, & Shy via Candy. Got so bummed out, though - my 426 ran out of credits. Sonny was so bent on re-reinstalling WinMe that it took us forever to get a hold of the puter again. The kids & I ate cheeseburgers & fries for dinner - had yummy cake for dessert. Sheesh. I felt like I was floating along the premises.
We finally saw ourselves on TV. But there were cuts so we didn't get to see ourselves screw up, errr, speak up in front of thousands of viewers. Bummer. Oh, well. At least we were seen clapping our hands out at the ending of the show. (duh?!)
/me eats up... catches up on skipped dinner last night
YESTERDAY. Was late again for OCS. Good thing MJ beeped me a few minutes before I decided to leave for school. I was so damn klutzy when I got there... having my grip slip out on the Toblerone bar MJ handed me before PR class, & having tuknene sauce smudged over the left corner of my mouth when Kathz, Marky, Bhabes, & Cel saw me in the cafeteria. Nah, it's OK anyway. Lack of sleep sure makes people doggone slow & stupid.
Nihongo class turned out to be pretty super. Can you just imagine the luck I'm having in this class? My past fucked-up recitations went UNrecorded, so... you do the math! YAHOOHEEHEYYYYY!!!! \o/ Now I'm really getting the hang of it all! The lessons are coming on easy... all I have to do is to be less distracted & more attentive. My chances for passing FL 411 this sem are up again!
I talked to Dad the moment I got home. It was nice how unwinding with him outside felt great. You see, I told him almost everything that was happening to me... my school fuss, woes with friends - even my loser love life! Like he cares. But somehow he does, & that's what all that matters.
TODAY. Reinstalling usual programs & setting up files in new order isn't a breeze. WinMe has its downsides too, but oh, what the heck?! WinMe still is keWL!
Spent time with Kathz, Marky & Bhabes again at the cafeteria. Good thing I had no film & computer class to worry about. I rewrote my lectures on PR & FL, made chika with my kumpareng Kuya Joel, & brooded over things.
This blogpage is best viewed with IE 5.5 & WinMe, with a 1024 x 768 screen resolution. Just wanna plug shamelessly. ^-^
Finished making breakfast *again* for my kid brother. I even roused him up awake since I think he's getting pretty late for school today, to no avail. I'm lacking sleep too. But at least I cleared up the kitchen somewhat & cleaned up the place a bit. Ohmigod, I have yet to write down my assignment in film class! Like, what's my favorite movie ever (& most hated flick as well). Hmmm... I'd better eat up first before getting down to business.
I'm still racking my brains on how to make my archives work. Darn FTP bullshit.
The rain must be the main culprit for screwed-up cp network data transmission. Lag time rates are around 4-6 hours. Egad.
If you're thinking of gift ideas to kids... here are my top 2 of them strongly & vehemently TABOOED as CURSED ITEMS (think Friday the 13th on TV):
1) Magic Sand - costs around Php259 per color & Php700 for all 4 colors. If you want your children to explore & express creativity, opt for something less messy & more compact instead. Go for coloring books & crayons, Play-Doh, Magic Slates, Fisher-Price stuff, & the ever-durable Lego blocks set.
2) Toy guns - with the rampaging local terrorism & shooting escapades in academic institutions in Japan & the US, we might as well be more rational with exposing our young'uns to blatant violence. You want them getting all the action they can get without letting them actually simulate bloodshed & war? Give `em comic books. And I don't mean Funny Komiks! Or copies of OVA's of Samurai X, Gundam X/W, Dragonball Z, & other animé action series. Or action figures of their favorite cartoon superhero/archvillain/underdawg. Hmmm... maybe a Sony Playstation console with cd's of trancey rpg's & versus games would appease them too. Or install CounterStrike & Quake 3 in your pc! Hell, there are more ways than one to entertain a kid violence junkie!
Other items banned are any sharp object or corrosive that can puncture skin & eyes. Board games should be presented out sparingly, especially if there are tokens & other items that are flammable & minute enough to be swallowed unwittingly. Give model/hardware kits & Swiss knives to high schoolers & boy scouts. 8-year-olds are NOT to be trusted with such stuff. Staple toys such as Barbie & other kinds of dolls, kitchen sets, yoyos, balls, & pogo sticks are highly recommended. If giving bikes, rollerblades, &/or skateboards - make sure kids can use them in a conducive environment for such sport, & that parental guidance should be oftentimes exercised.
Please be guided accordingly with today's Toy Advisory. Save lives. Sleep better. Enjoy life to the fullest.
But then again, you can always protect your child from anything except HIS very own SELF.
