Too bad I might just have to put off birthday celebration sprees until tomorrow.
I'm calling it a day. I'm feeling feverish, & my nose is clogged yet runny. Like, how weird is that?
But I sure had a nice day today... a lot of people remembered & sent me lotsa e-cards & SMS greetings. Friends from grade/high school, my Scatterbrains posse, Ate Honey, kai, & Lynne (z3uG). I even had a call from Maya on my cp — thank you so much! I also had a newfound friend in Ate Neneng (a neighbor of my best bud's) who said she'd just go to church for me in Baclaran since I was too sick to get up early this morning. Yay. The best part of it all, though, was my best bud giving me a brown runic bracelet made from elephant bone when the clock struck 12, after I gave her best friend Mark a reading in her room. They loved the bracelet so much that they even got some for themselves.
Oh, wait, I guess the REALLY best part of it all was him taking a day off from work & keeping me company even if for a not-so-short-yet-not-so-long-either while. ^_^
Hehe, got this test from kai a few months back, but only remembered to post it just now. I've got a few more online quizzes up for grabs which I'll be putting up in a few.
I've just realized I'm not actually feeling well at all. I'm coming down with the flu again.
“Contradiction is not a sign of falsity,
nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth.”
-- Blaise Pascal
"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew." -- Saint Francis de Sales
"It's so important to believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it, under any circumstances. Because if you believe you can, then you really will. That belief keeps you searching for the answers, and then pretty soon you get it."
-- Wally "Famous" Amos
Somewhere here in the horizon
the rippling moonlit waters remind me
how lovely Life can be from a distance
at certain serene times
With the city lights aglow
below dainty stars and clouds
When the cool sea breeze blows kisses
on my weary, sleepy brow...
As I close my eyes and feel the bliss
brought upon by such contemplation
A certain warmth, stirred in with a mild chill,
surges through my self's inner depths
Up to my head
Then I look back at you, beaming —
I find myself wishing this moment would never have to end.
"Beside You" 11-04-2001
05:41 AM
Your heart holds the sweetness —
pure, moving, gradual, ethereal —
that pours itself generously
calming me down,
setting me free,
winning me over,
drawing me closer,
making it known to me
the power and truth of the wonder
that is Love.
I have always wished for this,
yet never expected it now to be so real...
"boredom + mush = crap" 02-18-2002
02:55 PM
Sorry, I couldn't help but post these up. Not that I'm being ultra-mushy or anything. It just occurred to me this morning that they were the very last bits of "poetry" (blechhh) I made, & I wouldn't be really inspired to write them if it weren't for them arts & literature aficionados in my local BBS (somewhat).
Somehow I get people ending up lost in this stupid blog when they go searching for glutaphos here. Too bad they won't find anything substantial about the subject! I tried the damned stuff a few times last year, to no avail. I was more often than not physically exhausted & emotionally diffused, to the point of waking up late in the morning still with my school clothes on, whenever I don't get to go online around 3 in the morning for IRC, paperwork, & research. No amount of such could jumpstart my brain. But I personally suggest you kids take them staple Pharmaton, Centrum, chocolate, & peanuts instead. They actually work, & oh, gadzooks, get enough exercise + sleep too, if you want your mind so desperately to crank up for the books & shyt.
"Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. On the contrary: rationalize them, understand them thoroughly. After that, it will be possible for you to sublimate them."
-- Salvador Dali
Fine. I'm on the RRRRIGHT on track, then.
Here's something I wrote down on a scrap of paper around early June that I found in my bag a few months later:
"hehe, it's easy to fall in love with sadness sometimes. I'm a sucker for mush, too, especially of the tragic kind. but I have to steer clear from too much desolation to keep me from drowning myself or doing anything similarly crazy."
I'm that ditzy. But don't worry, I won't screw up this time. I don't mind languor + nostalgia so much now.
So, unfortunately, a brand new week has just rolled in, & I still haven't written much about anything.
I'm having pre-birthday jitters, though, as always.
Maybe I'll just post a few things from my unpublished archives (that don't seem to come out right if ever I do get them fully up here) so I could ponder more about myself & what is happening to me now before I get to sleep the day away again. I came home late from my best bud's, & I'm really beat. But I still have to prepare sucky breakfast & help make way for lunch (Mom would be the one to cook today, anyway) if I want to catch up on snooze.
"I'm not gonna change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people."
-- John Lennon
He's a fellow Libran, so maybe he does know. Hail!
"The most important things are the hardest to say,
because words diminish them."
-- Stephen King
I hope to set foot or get to 'swim' in this shore before I die or something. Or at least sail around it to savor more the blue skies hovering & the crystal-clear waters surrounding.
"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in."
-- Erma Bombeck
Which reminds me, I have to get my prized Erma Bombeck book back from Jen, quick.
I was supposed to go out today but my knee just fucking hurts. I can't sit or stand properly, & whether I bend or stretch my crappy right leg, I could only be really careful with my movements lest my last-Monday sudden abrasion burst open & bleed like crazy again. I also feel terribly sleepy even if I had guzzled lotsa Coke + iced tea during breakfast & lunch.
This is such a pretty deck, but I do not feel any affinity to it.
Or maybe because I haven't looked at the cards closely enough.
Pfft.
But the readings done with the said deck are rather strikingly accurate.
This is my latest Outcome card... oh, how apt.
Death reversed indicates a time of upheaval after an emotionally challenging period in the questioner's life. The seeker needs to re-evaluate the events of the last few months & then resolve to move forward. Fear brought on by trauma in the past cannot be allowed to hold you back.
Funny how lately I keep dreading the same card from this deck.
LIBRA: This is no time to waste watching TV. You've got major plans to make, and if they're not put down on paper, the likelihood of them actually occurring is about zero.
The reason why I keep posting my horoscope readings for the day lately is that they just seem to come out naturally accurate + in accordance in what I really should be doing, like months ago or so.
& in this case, I have to blog everything that happened to me last weekend before the next weekend rolls in.
I'm still too tired, though. Talk about emo-philosophical info overload. I don't think I actually have time to watch TV, anyway. I'm going to hit the books again. Who needs TV when you have the Net?
I better take a bath now, before my best bud drops by here today after work, which is in 20 minutes or so.
LIBRA: Lots of sleep is the answer tonight. Your body needs time to rejuvenate.
I might have to self-induce sleep if things go out of hand.
But for the lighter stuff, I just want to link this so I can look it up later.
Hooray for Windows XP Pro Plus.
I hope it does work better now than WinME. I'm generally quite anxious with change, & adjusting to a new OS is somewhat crazy. I feel lost just about everytime I have to deal with evolving. I'm stressful like that. Dammit.
But I've dealt with Office XP before, & we've added XP tweaks to our ME last summer, so...
I can hardly wait to have everything completely set up so I can reconfigure my IRC script, SMS client, & all other blah with my apps.
You're sweet like the song title, still young and slightly naive but you've got a ton of potential. The people who you admire and are living the dreams you hold so dearly are held in high stature in your eyes and you look up to them with great enthusiasm. You've got a big imagination and you show great promise in becoming something great! If you just tap into that strength and power you know is inside of you, you can achieve anything! You are a kind and loving person, but you may get caught up in your fantasies at times. Despite your oxymoronic qualities, if you keep your head high you can make the best out of any situation.
"Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth."
--Katherine Mansfield
Please, if anybody can enlighten me on what this "truth" to be faced or "thing" to be risked is supposed to be, I'd be very much grateful & relieved. Thanks.
Before you know it, I'll be gone and you can't stop me and you won't find me and you can't hurt me anymore. Sticks and stones can break my bones but words cause deep, emotional, psychological, and permanent damage.
I wish I had the words to terribly make an impact just like that — to hurt, wound, & maim.
I had to remove the tag board for a while because nobody could post in it anyway after I had to customize it fully to fit this blasted blog. Is it just me being a big doofus with stuff like this, or is it my board's effin fault?
Turns out I've tweaked the code too much. /me bonks self
Yup, this is what I get for lacking decent sleep & junk food intake.
Had a yummy early dinner tonight, bummed around IRC again (I swear I'll be lying low next week), brooded over things under the heavy rain, filtered my best bud's e-mail account, & finished a few overdue reply-to missives.
Anyway, techie news from the [e]-mailbox—
Microsoft Unveils Windows Media 9 Series Advertica
Last night in Los Angeles Microsoft chairman Bill Gates announced the public release of the Windows Media 9 Series platform.
During the media event - which featured the participation of movie director James Cameron, music producer George Martin, and music artists Peter Gabriel and LL Cool J - focused primarily on the new platform's enhanced and innovative Fast Streaming video and audio technologies.
According to Gates, websites and online subscription services will be able to offer faster, higher-quality streaming video and audio content with the Windows Media 9 Series' Fast Streaming technology.
The platform's new developments were "designed to realize the true potential of digital media on the PC", Gates said.
Information on the entire Windows Media 9 Series platform, including download information, is available at the Microsoft website.
Nokia Launches Thr88o Phone with Colour Display,
Shipping Seen in Q1 2003 AFX News Limited
Nokia Corp launched the Nokia THR880 TETRA phone with colour display at the Tampere Safety and Security Expo in Finland, and said it expects the handset to start shipping in the first quarter 2003.
The new two-sided design is equipped with voice recognition and colour display as well as an upgraded menu system.
The new handset also includes WAP and IP Packet Data capabilities.
“The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.”
--Benjamin Mays
“To live only for some future goal is shallow.
It’s the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top.”
--Robert Pirsig
"Don't be discouraged by failure. It can be a positive experience. Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterwards carefully avoid."
--John Keats
It's good to know that there's always hope as well as room for improvement. But what if there isn't always much time left for our proverbial self-amelioration, catchings up to do, & all that other blah that we promised before that we'll get done someday?
But she is definitely reeking of controversy, so... oh, well.
Hell, she's pop as all them other pop girl artists are, & her debut music video sucks, methinks. But I like her album's carrier single, & I didn't know that she was the one credited for it until I had to see the sucky video (which yeah, had its nice shots somewhat that must've drawn in a horde of fans in one way or another, but...) & read/hear all the fuss about her just about everytime + everywhere. Christ. Isn't it ironic how she sings about the greatness of being true to oneself + anything but ordinary, but appears to be so unlike her songs to the masses?
Poor thing, though.
She doesn't need another bad review from anyone like me. I really could care less. I'm more worried about my own wobbling progress.
I got this dainty link from the mail today, & I'm all excited to check the shop out pretty soon with my best bud, if she recovers quick & isn't swamped with other appointments. We've been checking out interior decor stores everytime we're at the mall for gift ideas & stuff to clog our rooms, aside from the usual quaint novelty item shops around. I hope there'd be more to feast our eyes on when we actually get there.
So it excited me a bit to know that STP will be touring the US this fall, to mainly support Aerosmith & play a few festival shows, even if I wasn't going to be able to see them at all. To kick things off, here are details of their tour for this week:
09.06.02 San Diego, CA @ San Diego Street Scene
09.07.02 Fontana, CA @ California Motor Speedway
(Harley Davidson Tour)
The following passage from this link hit me smack-dab, though:
Though you write with passion about things that matter greatly, always remember that it’s a big world, filled with people and stories. Don’t expect the world to stop and listen. Never expect any individual (or, worse, any quantity of individuals) to read your work, for they may have other things to do. At the same time, steel yourself to expect the unexpected visitor and the uninvited guest; the most unlikely people may read your work. Your mother, who never uses a computer, may read your intimate weblog one day in the library. To be honest with the world, you may need to be honest with your mother; if you cannot face your mother, perhaps you are not ready to write for the world.
So should I quit blogging altogether at this point? ^_^
(MOTD) = Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Take Me Home (radio edit)
i am happiest when I can spend my time on things & people I most like without much fuss.
i feel lonely when the people I can trust & enjoy being with are inaccessible for the moment.
the ideal relationship would be founded on real friendship, bordering on comfort & security, providing ample symbiotic emo-intellectual dissipation.
what makes you cry? sad movies. hehehe. the past. brooding over self-pity. feelings of helplessness & despair.
introvert or extrovert? ambi. but more bordering on intro lately.
do you think too much? sometimes — too much for my own good.
if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? anywhere but HERE.
famous person you would like to meet? Sophie Ellis Bextor — or Brandon Boyd — or Scott Weiland.
but there's a whole lot of other people out there I'd want to run into someday & exchange pleasantries with, so...
are you a vegetarian? no fuckin way.
what would you most like to be doing right now? not worrying. losing myself in a joyride or a merry little long stroll. pigging out.
do you have any regrets? do you even have to ask?!
sex or love? the dreaded fuckin L-word's more like it. & I don't mean lust, sheesh!
favorite scent CK Be, EL Pleasures, vanilla musk, Chamade Guerlain, butter, garlic, chocolate, Polo Sport Woman, Lysol Spring Waterfall spray (HAHA)
what REALLY makes you mad? not getting my way. obstinate dimwits. flashbacks of bitter, better-left-forgotten memories. failure. pet peeves blown out of proportion enough to drive me insane.
favorite way to waste time trolling on IRC + message boards, pigging out, soundtripping — all at the same time.
if you won $50,000,000 what would you do with it? splurge on stuff, of course... on what? mamaya ko na lang sasagutan.
t is your best quality? I make self-deprecation & boredom seem & feel like fine art.
i have issues. but i also recognise this fact and do what i can to resolve those issues. i may have spent a long time letting those issues control me, but now i'm ready to take the upper hand and wonder about the world around me. i'm getting to be well-balanced, but i'm not quite there yet.
I REALLY hate the way I surprise — to the point of scare — myself sometimes... if this is what growing up is all about, having alien feelings surge like hell, I'd rather die right this very instant.
