Welcome back to the world of the living. You've been so pre-occupied with your existential questions lately that you have been missing the point about letting go and enjoying playing the hand that life has dealt you. Now you're more in tune and present in your daily life, more able to recognize and appreciate the joy that you can find moment to moment. It's been an important discovery. Well done!
Hehe, right on. SAPUL! I love my personalized horoscope readings!
Six of Wands reversed, in the Secret Inhibitions position, suggests that you may fear the responsibility that comes with leadership or success. You may outwardly behave in a manner that suggests discontentment with believing yourself "always the bridesmaid, never the bride", but in actuality, you may have accepted this role out of a lack of self-esteem. You may be uncomfortable with praise, and tend to be self-effacing to the point where others may begin to believe it. You need to know that you can vindicate yourself by standing up to and overcoming that fear. Pay attention to your intuition and feed your spiritual needs, and the rest will follow.
WTF? That's the problem. I do not know what my intuition is really trying to say. I may be just too carried away more with my emotions than with my instincts.
If you need to run around and do errands like a chicken with its head cut off, don't drag others along with you. Complete your mission solo. You will find that you are much more efficient if you don't have the extra weight to carry around. Not only will you get your chores done faster, but you will have time to think and process certain things on your own without the influence of someone else's energy around to taint your thinking.
Hehe, which I did! I cooked breakfast & lunch then cleared the sink like thrice single-handedly, but now I'm too tired to do anything else, like clear the stove & counters in the kitchen. Maybe later. I had a nice long cold shower, though, so that makes me all the more delighted with how things are working out. Yay. My dad who rarely eats my cooking complimented my beef stew for the first time, blurting out loud to my mom's horror, "pwede ka nang mag-asawa!" HAHA. Either he was too hungry that he'd eat anything served hot at the dinner table, or he really meant that cheesy remark. Oh, well. But being approbated like that by Dad is already big deal, considering how he'd just say, "OK lang" or "pwede na to" whenever I'd whip up meals in lieu of my mom or everytime I'd make him coffee.
"Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections. "
--[author unknown]
Easier said than done, as it takes time getting used to the idea, but it's worth it. It's not settling for anything less, really — but more of a matter of counting one's blessings & still hoping for the best while being on guard for the inevitable. Life is too truly short to be wasted crying over the proverbial spilled milk.
What has traditionally been known as the Moon card refers to a deep state of sensitivity and imaginative impressionability, developed within a womb of deep relaxation. Here we dream and go into trance, have visions and receive insights, wash in and out with the psychic tides, and experience deep mystical and/or terrifying realities beyond our ordinary senses. The full moon and/or eclipse cycle charted by the Magi (as in some of the earliest Moon card images) exemplify this as a mechanism that Nature uses to expand consciousness.
The variants of the courtly lovers (representing skillful use of the sex force) or the man sleeping it off under the tree (use of drugs to alter consciousness) are also traditional avenues for tapping this primal force. Human interest in higher states propels us to the frontiers of consciousness, where we cannot always control what happens. The Moon card represents the ultimate test of a soul's integrity, where the membrane between self and the Unknown is removed, and the drop of individuality reenters the Ocean of Being. What transpires next is between a soul and its Maker.
1. what is one thing you don't like about your body?
My figure. Go figure. Dammit. LOL.
2. what are two things you love about your body?
My puffy eyes & crummy hands.
3. what are three things you want to change about your home?
Realistically, I'd want more water (hehe), new plush couches, & fix the overall look of my room.
Now if I were to fantasize about things, I wish we lived someplace else big enough to accommodate a swimming pool.
4. what are four books you want to read this year?
Let me get back to you on this one.
5. what are five promises you have kept to yourself?
- think more positively
- be contented with what I have
- keep my temper in check
- get in touch with my inner self
- be more responsible around the house
Spent Valentine's Day mostly in bed, argh. Turns out that I'm coming down with the flu. I wasn't able to drop by the goodie bag I prepared for my best bud as I promised her a few hours, because a fever surfaced & I had no choice left but to sleep it off. I had to miss out on lunch & dinner, too.
But before that, it was rather disappointing that Catch Me If You Can wasn't being shown anymore in our local mall. We settled for Hero instead, & fuckn a, we weren't disappointed! PUTANGINA SA GANDA NON, NYETA! Haha, sorry for cussing, but the movie was THAT good (what an understatement)!
When we got home, my kid brother & I had a load of Lilo & Stitch (which he wasn't able to see last year but I already have) & Powerpuff Girls The Movie (w00t!) on VCD. Hehe, he is so cool. I'll never find anyone who can stand watching even the cheesiest of movies with me, then laugh all about it while we're at it. I'd really miss him when he leaves this summer to stay with my dad in our other house at my mom's province.
I hope Kathz wouldn't mind me dropping by early in a few... but God, I am so woozy right now.
I have so much to say. There's still water outage here at home, but as long as I can take a bath everyday & do household chores requiring water usage, hehe, I'll be fine. I just got back from Kathz's last night, who has just recovered from flu, & we kinda bonded over old letters before I gave her a follow-up reading to what I did for her 9 days ago. I also brought 3 local gurly magazines with insightful articles she could make use of, then advised her to keep a journal again. (I gave her a little black book she could use for the purpose for our friendship anniversary, remember?) She should stop running away from her fears & insecurities by turning into some frenzied bitch heading straight towards self-destruction. I had fun; she said she did, too. I hope she'd get some sense knocked into her before anything else crazy happens to her. We babbled about a lot of things, but what I liked best that she blurted out of the blue was what she thought about Stephen Speaks' Passenger Seat song, which is, quite to my amusement, uncannily a part of my real-life love story, hehehe. ^_^
Anyway, catch me if you can... I'll be out tonight with my sister to grab a few things for tomorrow, & for a movie. Yeah, go figure what.
My best bud came over to surprise me this afternoon, only to realize that I surprised her, too, by not being home & blah. Too bad I'm too sleepy to drop over her place. I'm in dire need of a bath, too. A nice, LONG, cold one at that. I hope the water supply evens out. Fuck, I'm really terribly sleepy... zZz... more updates in a few... *zonks out*
Mind your physical health today. If you're feeling tired and run down, don't push yourself. Seriously consider taking a day off from everything and get the rest your body needs. Doing this can prevent more serious ailments by bolstering your strength and immune system before it's depleted too much to fight off viruses. If you think you can't take a day off, consider what you'll do when you're forced to take several because of being ill.
I miss the beach... & the warm weather that eludes the world as I write this. But wishing for summer would be probably dreadful at this point... who in his right mind would dare to bear another gruesome heat wave?
Unwittingly slept the whole day yesterday, after the maintenance servicemen for the airconditioners at home got everything done. Forgot to have lunch, but had bacon & cheese with pandesal early for breakfast. Was so damn tired; sleep was very much welcomed. Would have to fix my room again after getting a few more chores downstairs done.
I got lovely Christmas presents yesterday (hehehe) from him, including this endearing surprise that was supposedly a mere reminder of what we shared, i.e. Serendipity. I don't usually cry over reading books, but now I think I've degenerated into utter sappiness.
I forgot what was the title of this other anime series that Kathz had on VCD aside from the Love Hina Christmas & Spring specials. I wasn't able to go out yesterday & last Friday as promised, because of my darned cramps. I'm feeling a little bit better now, but I'm not sure if I can finally leave. I'll try, as I don't want to break my word all over again. Besides, I owe her this reading entailing primarily a work/career spread I found online which I'm very much pleased with, hehe. The psychological reading that I tried on her last Thursday was highly potent — reflective of her repressed issues at the most — & she tried this silly little game of choosing out of 78 cards a few of our favorite numbers in descending order. For example, out of that 78 in my deck, she'd count up to 29 cards, then count up again to 18, then 15, then 8, then 4, then 2, then one last card which would stand for zero. Such numbers are those that represent a great deal of our history & what not. It was a good try, of course, but I do not want to dabble in self-made spreads by myself just yet. It's rather hard, after all, to make readings for myself in the first place. What came out in that little experiment got me thinking big time, though. Especially what turned up to be the numbers 4, 1, & zero (what we decided upon that would signify that we have to start from scratch) in my reading... damn life.
1. As a child, who was your favorite superhero/heroine? Why?
Uhm, I never really looked up to anyone like that when I was a kid. I'm more into realistic characters, like fictional martial artists & a few real-life remarkable people. But eventually as I grew older, I appreciated Batman — thanks to Tim Burton, hehe.
2. What was one thing you always wanted as a child but never got?
I think I quite got a lot of things I wanted, even if it had to take me until recently to do so. I'll still think of something for this question, though.
3. What's the farthest from home you've been?
Cagayan de Oro, I think. The place is fabulous. Northern Mindanao is fantastic actually, if it weren't for some of the people or the language barrier & diversity of the culture. I wouldn't want to live there. Dammit.
4. What's one thing you've always wanted to learn but haven't yet?
A new language in full, like Nihongo or German.
5. What are your plans for the weekend?
Rest as much as I can, because physically I'm really feeling sick & sluggish, then fix my room. Also, work on my reading & new blog communities.
