My social drunkard ways & days have been reduced to these, & I swear I can't even finish a measly bottle. The last time I got Zhy & Rissa to try out vodka mudshake with me (with the wrong choice of pulutan unfortunately), I had to make them drink up the rest of my ration.
I've found my new placebo, though — with keywords like MAGIC. ERISTOFF. FOREST FRUIT. SPRITE. ICE. CHILL. BLUE. GREEN. YUMMY. CALMING. OHGODOHGOD (haha!). BAH. I just wish there was any other information about it so I could show it off. It goes way up high my list of much-wanted-but-fckn-hard-to-find indulgences.
The most interesting bands for me so far are 3 Colours Red, My Vitriol, Coheed & Cambria (no wonder some of the kids I used to hang out with online were crazy about them!), Dishwalla (they surely have more offer than Counting Blue Cars), & yep, even uh, Swing Out Sister (I didn't realize I grew up with their stuff big time — my favorite being Forever Blue & their "LA is a great big freeway :P" rendition. No shit. & I hope to discover more great lounge tracks, while I'd dare myself to try out New Age (read: spa-worthy) music.
Overheard a lot of rather funny things last night but I might as well forget about those. I'd rather ponder on my bleak, rocky future.
"Why does being patient have to take so long?" quipped one frustrated soul. Could it have been you? Waiting has never been your strong suit, there's no question about it. You will get through today best if you concentrate on finding an outlet for your pent-up frustration. A visit to the gym, or a vigorous cleaning of the house, would help.
Haha. No way. I'm too hyper to clean my room this week. I'd rather go places & make myself sick with all the things I've to subject myself to. I got a lot of freebies from the mall today, though — loot from The Body Shop: some bath/shower cream, vert de bamboo oil (will be phased out soon here; been using this shit for years), & refreshing eye gel mask, foot socks, Stephen King's On Writing, a Scrabble board, a tiny 'Violent Mood Swings' badge (hehe), & an I-Ching book.
True enough, Librans are almost always fashionably late because we're fickle like that, that we look nice in greens & pinks, & the ideal Libran office is "likely to be beautiful, with fresh-cut flowers and a seating arrangement that places all guests on equal footing" (while my room's a complete disaster). We can be too extravagant & cordial for comfort, & indecisive even with food, thus ending up with crazy combinations. We strive for peace & harmony as much as possible, & we could use some good R&R to recharge. & I don't get the point of this post, actually. I just want to feel better. But sometimes Life is just so frustrating, & I wonder if I was meant to be born someplace & as someone else. It's crazy to think about it, but could I really be a prima donna in denial?
I know I'm spending too much time reading other people's blogs & frequenting my sister's grave that I hardly have time for myself anymore. I've also had it with waxing philosophical that doesn't do anything really for me except prove that yes, I may be 'enlightened' (according to Reiki, haha) & even if I am, the world is more fucked up than you think & that just musing about it can actually kill you. I think I've driven a lot of people insane already with my shit. But what else can I do? I'm on the verge of leaving everything behind as my life is as usual crumbling down on me. I can't deal with everyone else 24/7, you know. & the last thing I need is having to worry about my family or my measly belongings. However, the need for peace of mind & stability to save myself as well as everyfuckingthing else is more prevalent than the urge to self-destruct. So I guess that still makes me sane after all? Or am I drowning nonetheless in the same vortex of craziness that's been devouring the world alive for ages?
Forgive me for being so stupid & self-absorbed today.
Today may be charged with unexpected emotional tension for you that might be very difficult to handle. Your first reaction to a stressful situation may be to keep the lid on a raging pot for fear of getting burnt. Your goal may be to maintain a peaceful air and polite attitude by avoiding confrontation and hurt feelings. Realize, however, that you are doing more damage to yourself by holding it in than letting it out.
