Whenever I'm AFK, I usually have a lot of ideas buzzing in my head that I would like to blog about & that would make a lot more sense than what I'd usually end up posting... but for some reason when I log in & try to start typing, my mind goes blank in an instant & all I'd remember is how cold it feels today, for example, that I think I'm about to get sick again. Copying whatever I've jotted down during the flashes-of-insight deluge won't help; I can barely decipher what I've scribbled on my Post-Its & shit.
So I might as well talk about the little mundane details of my life, hehe. For this month, at least:
1) I've had new 'clients' for my ever-controversial hobby, & I think I've made another convert who'd want to learn more about the craft, hehe. I wonder if I'd meet more people before I'd be too busy for socializing (sometime after Valentine's Day) I hope I can rake in more bucks — I just want to feel better about myself as a New Age geek.
2) It's been a month since I haven't been working out, & I miss it. Maybe tomorrow.
3) I'm about to finish my mobile phone's silly Snakes game, but the last maze to go through is an ABSOLUTE motherfucker. The highest score I've gained untallied so far is 308,000 while the highest saved is only 294,755.
4) The cam on my phone's still busted, but this should only take another software reflashing/upgrade & it's good to go. Maybe tomorrow, while I'm completing pre-employment requirements for my supposed corporate debut, hehe.
5) The last movie I've seen is Stranger Than Fiction, & I want to see it again. Maybe even score a DVD, along with that of Little Miss Sunshine. Because of it, I've become totally fascinated with Maggie Gyllenhaal as a result, who's coincidentally a Scorpio (no wonder she's sexy!) I love her as Ana Pascal, & Will Ferrell is quite a lucky bastard for teaming up with sultry women onscreen, like Nicole Kidman.
6) Too bad I wasn't able to enjoy the Star Wars weekend TVthon at Star Movies, but at least I saw the whole, "Luke, I am your father" hoopla, hehe. Even if my brother has the whole (uh, hexology?) on DVD, I still like bumming around watching how bad the movies really were to begin with; save for the special effects, costumes, & quirky characters like C3P0, R2D2, Yoda, Jabba the Hutt, & Chewbacca, haha. No matter what diehard fans would say, I like Darth Vader's pre-Dark Lord story best.
7) I've decided at the last minute to score this year's silly coffee shop specialty planner, & I have only until tomorrow to collect stickers for the stub (which was given to me by Lynne) I really hope my brother would go with me tomorrow. At this point, I don't feel like wandering alone.
8) I'm excited for this but if I want to see live performances I'll be disappointed pala if I go on Saturday, hehe. I hope I can participate next year.
9) My hair's a bit shorter now. Unrulier, too, even if I've spent much on treatments this month alone. Ergo, I'm ugly as ever, hehe, & the odds of my dying as a spinster are worsening as we speak.
10) This year's going to be all about soul-searching & starting anew. I think I'm going to be able to cry myself to sleep again (which is actually good for me) especially with my new pursuits to undertake. Will I survive this summer? I sure hope so.
Crap. Haha, drudgery is so much easier to write, indeed.
I decided to see Innocent Voices yesterday afternoon before going home. Let's just say I will never forget how the little hero's friends were killed right before he was saved by his uncle, & how the village priest made his presence felt all throughout the film, especially during his last sermon to the townspeople. Honestly, I hate war, too, even if I like Sun Tzu's book about the subject, one of my favorite games is Warcraft 3, & my dad was in the military, who hardly discussed his exploits with us until just recently. Despite my suicidal ideations as well as penchance for violence & hot fictional Oriental female assassins, I still pray for everyone else all over the world who has to deal with wars of the worst kind up to this day.
TOP 5 MOVIES 5. The Banquet 4. Marie Antoinette 3. V for Vendetta 2. Little Miss Sunshine 1. RENT
TOP 5 BOOKS 5. 4. Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince 3. Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix 2. Mythic Tarot Workbook 1. Osho Zen: Game of Transcendence
TOP 5 SONGS 5. Paramita - Hiling 4. Sarah McLachlan - World on Fire (Les Mills' Body Balance mix) 3. Stone Temple Pilots - Big Empty 2. Prince - Lolita 1. Urbandub - First of Summer
TOP 5 ALBUMS 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Rent OST
TOP 5 TV SHOWS 5. Kapamilya Deal or No Deal wahaha 4. Hwang Jini 3. Oprah Primetime 2. Princess Hours 1. The Simpsons
TOP 5 MUSIC VIDEOS 5. 4. 3. 2. Urbandub - First of Summer 1. OK Go - Here It Goes Again
TOP 5 DISCOVERIES 5. Capricciosa 4. vanilla milkshakes & baked clams at 4am 3. camomile tea 2. Circles 1. yoga
TOP 5 CUTE GUYS 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Joo Jin Hoon
So obviously I haven't been watching too much TV, don't get attracted to cute guys anymore, & need to see more music videos next time. Sigh. More books, too.
Sometimes we just need to determine when to draw the line or prod further: while other women are going great lengths to save the world as much as they can, I have to keep myself pretty balanced. Not too aggressive, not too shrinking, either. Not sell myself short, but at the same time not overestimate myself, lest I'd bite more than what I can chew. Looking back at my failures & utterly surreal experiences since childhood, with someone insightful enough (especially when I least expect it, like my mother, would you believe?!) to help you reflect on such, I think I can handle 2007, the same way I got through life from 10 to 16 years ago. I just need to draw that inner strength & serenity again. It just pains me that everytime I get to think of it, I'd realize I'm so much more interesting & resilient (though more clueless in a sense, of course) when I was younger. Now I'm just...
Well, scratch that. I should end this by declaring how re-empowered & re-energized I feel after much contemplation, like I always would when I'd stay up to watch the sun rise &/or set in my childhood home, without worrying about temporal trappings & other comforts. Though I'd need to make a trip back there soon.
