I was looking for my old college resume from a good 4 years ago & I couldn't find my last updated (pero crumpled-up) copy anywhere. Yes, I do leave stuff lying around literally all over the house. So much for disorganization. Anyway, I had to rummage through my old papeles & retrieved a lot of stuff (even the very shit I refuse to look back into). It was a rather heart-wrenching experience. If I managed to save all my papers even before we moved into this house 7 years ago (I used to live almost all my life in Sangley Point, remember?), the recollection would've been more intense. To think I was discussing on performing tarot shadow work soon, & that involves a lot of retracing one's past in order to heal. PUTANGINA. Where hath my old self gone? I was so immersed in my "work" (within my organizations) to the point of preaching managerial & organizational communication (courtesy of my father's 1984 World Executive Digest issues) even way before my PR proper subjects in my 3rd year in college. I was one of the most visible students in campus, & became the most influential when I won the Supreme Student Council presidency in 1998 (being the only junior to do so, therefore breaking the chain of senior students who were previously deemed to be solely qualified for the much-coveted position). PUTANGINA. Kahit wala akong boypren nun (di naman ako naghahanap) o hindi nakakakain at natutulog sa oras eh OK lang basta grumaduate lang sana akong cum laude. At kahit pipitsuging school lang ang pinanggalingan ko eh pinagmamalaki ko pa rin yun dahil napaka-supportive ng faculty & select administration sa mga kagagahan ko. All I wanted was to make everyfuckingbody proud of me, laluna ang aking mga magulang na kahit kelan walang naidulot na matino sa pag-aaral ko — pero they would've wanted me to proceed to LAW SCHOOL HA! Punyeta! & naglaho lang din nang parang bula ang lahat ng pinaghirapan ko. Di na nga ako nakakapanood ng TV gaano, di ako nakapag-RPG (except Final Fantasy VII yahoo!), at di na rin ako nakapagbasa ng Anne Rice o Chuck Palahniuk dahil puro handouts at textbooks ko ang hawak ko (pwede nang silaban ang kwarto ko sa damiiiii). I wasn't even able to claim my prize tickets to the premier showing of The Opposite of Sex dahil sa school. I miss my old life.
After all the fuss saka ko lang nakita ang punyemas na resume ko. Yung old copy. Non-revised, walang details. Maybe I should leave everything for the cover letter & interview per se. Wish me luck. Please, gusto ko namang mamuhay nang normal. Be a valid contribution to the betterment of mankind. Pero feeling ko, no matter what I do, I'm good as roadkill.