I was looking for my old college resume from a good 4 years ago & I couldn't find my last updated (pero crumpled-up) copy anywhere. Yes, I do leave stuff lying around literally all over the house. So much for disorganization. Anyway, I had to rummage through my old papeles & retrieved a lot of stuff (even the very shit I refuse to look back into). It was a rather heart-wrenching experience. If I managed to save all my papers even before we moved into this house 7 years ago (I used to live almost all my life in Sangley Point, remember?), the recollection would've been more intense. To think I was discussing on performing tarot shadow work soon, & that involves a lot of retracing one's past in order to heal. PUTANGINA. Where hath my old self gone? I was so immersed in my "work" (within my organizations) to the point of preaching managerial & organizational communication (courtesy of my father's 1984 World Executive Digest issues) even way before my PR proper subjects in my 3rd year in college. I was one of the most visible students in campus, & became the most influential when I won the Supreme Student Council presidency in 1998 (being the only junior to do so, therefore breaking the chain of senior students who were previously deemed to be solely qualified for the much-coveted position). PUTANGINA. Kahit wala akong boypren nun (di naman ako naghahanap) o hindi nakakakain at natutulog sa oras eh OK lang basta grumaduate lang sana akong cum laude. At kahit pipitsuging school lang ang pinanggalingan ko eh pinagmamalaki ko pa rin yun dahil napaka-supportive ng faculty & select administration sa mga kagagahan ko. All I wanted was to make everyfuckingbody proud of me, laluna ang aking mga magulang na kahit kelan walang naidulot na matino sa pag-aaral ko — pero they would've wanted me to proceed to LAW SCHOOL HA! Punyeta! & naglaho lang din nang parang bula ang lahat ng pinaghirapan ko. Di na nga ako nakakapanood ng TV gaano, di ako nakapag-RPG (except Final Fantasy VII yahoo!), at di na rin ako nakapagbasa ng Anne Rice o Chuck Palahniuk dahil puro handouts at textbooks ko ang hawak ko (pwede nang silaban ang kwarto ko sa damiiiii). I wasn't even able to claim my prize tickets to the premier showing of The Opposite of Sex dahil sa school. I miss my old life.
After all the fuss saka ko lang nakita ang punyemas na resume ko. Yung old copy. Non-revised, walang details. Maybe I should leave everything for the cover letter & interview per se. Wish me luck. Please, gusto ko namang mamuhay nang normal. Be a valid contribution to the betterment of mankind. Pero feeling ko, no matter what I do, I'm good as roadkill.
I love how last weekend's late night-early morning brainstorming helped in clarifying the relevance + congruency of Persephone (the High Priestess) & Demeter (the Empress) in my life. This time, Demeter makes so much more sense to me, & like her, I dread the coming winter months... how am I going to survive?
Hehe naks pampalubag-loob lang because I really feel & look horrendous lately even if I've had already a couple of massages (don't worry, they were dirt-cheap, so yeah, I love how my stretch marks are diminishing, wow, AHAHAHA) & steering clear of caffeine (except for them 3 glasses of Coke (anlabo ah) from the Cocoon's Nest opening party last night — do check out the shop near Hotel Tropicana courtesy of Lorna & her classmate Ina in UP-D who owns the place). Don't ask, but it's a classic case of wrong-timing experimentation. I hope Terramycin lives up to its claims!
WOW TANGINA OO NA MALAPIT NA BIRTHDAY KO! AHAHAHA. Celebrate or take a holiday! As long as your foundation is solid, and you are not committing to a relationship, position, partnership or change in role or status out of a sense of duty, or to satisfy others who have expectations for you, this card is one of the most positive in the deck. If you are contemplating marriage, children, a business deal, moving, or laying the groundwork for a great vision, go for it! By working as a team, you will prosper and reap the rewards of your past efforts. Let yourself be free from limitation and open to new possibilities. Be prepared to act spontaneously, expect to be thrilled, and claim your joy in living! Don’t try too hard to contain yourself, for this will be one of the highlights of your life. Be happy for yourself, but know that you will still have more potential to develop further, so try to see beyond the moment.
DON'T REMIND ME.
(MOTD) = Coheed & Cambria - A Favor House Atlantic
