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hold me closer,
let me go away...



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wSaturday, March 02, 2002

Been through a helluva straining week. Not only have I been in physical pain, but also anxiety was getting the better of me. I know it's not news anymore for me to feel reeeaaaaaally drained, but I'm very glad to be currently rather relieved, even at least temporarily.

I just hate it how some people think I'm perfectly snug & fine when I'm not. Like my folks. They think I'm all cool with just bumming my arse around here, when I'm agonizing both physiologically & psychologically. Dammit. Why is it that they can't see that there is at least something completely wrong with me?! Are they that dense, or just plain too self-absorbed to know that? Fuck. Then just when I don't need them around to meddle with my affairs, they unwantedly & recklessly barge in the scene, asserting their so-called concern, authority, & expertise on the godforsaken subject of living.

Hmmm, just read this from somewhere:

"Sometimes it's really hard to express one's feelings for another, especially if they're that intense.

"For one thing, my personal cautious pride somehow gets in the way. I fear rejection & pain.

"I still mean every little bit of what I said before... I love him & nothing will ever change that, either. I thank him for loving me back immensely, but I still dread the day that hearts & thoughts may fade away, suddenly & inevitably. I hope he can keep all them promises he swore to me since day one. I know for one thing he won't be sorry for choosing me. I'll do my best to keep him happy... to love him back unconditionally as well.

"I just hope it's not too late, though, for him to realize everything."

Cheesy, but got through me.

I might as well go back to sleep. I hope to wake up a much saner person than before.

(MOTD) = Michelle Branch - All You Wanted

posted by Andalusia at 3/02/2002 09:54:00 AM