hold me closer,
let me be...
hold me closer,
let me go away...



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wSunday, May 27, 2001

I dropped by shadowkat's last night for kicks, just wanting to check on her & crap, when it dawned upon me that I'm really not in the mood to socialize personally with just about anyone just yet. I may have been a perfectly lousy house guest... sorry. But with my physical status quo, uh, I just had to pass on the yummy bihon & sweet & sour tilapia. Awww, merci beaucoup anyway.

About her last sms to me saying she misses our bonding sessions here in my bedroom, where we'd stay up really, really late & get to blurt out stuff we couldn't actually speak out up front... awwww. Yeah, I miss having company too. Not to mention the times of sudden food shortage here [of all moments, yikes!] & utter silence downstairs. I like it best when Mom's not home, though. Now that's what you call a true "moment in time", bliss-smothered & all ours for the taking. *sigh*

When I was on my home, funny how these 2 songs played back to back... yeesh. "Make It Real" & "Changes In My Life" isn't what exactly I had in mind to hear. (*groan* ohhhh, another mush attack episode) Having my thoughts sidetracked to the past just doesn't help. I can only feel more keenly the emptiness brought upon by my loss. If it's supposed to be a good thing or not, I have no idea. I certainly don't want to dwell on it any longer either. So on with this stupid post.

Home-wise, life is OK. I'm getting to understand the folks here better; thus, feeling more compelled to be a more "responsible" & diligent daughter/sibling. However, it's just so damn hard to actually keep up with their so-called expectations. (Hmm, I wonder how many times now I've used the word "damn" in all my posts since day 1? Yikes, count in the word "now"...) Bah, whatever. Since I could feel my eyes getting heavier by the minute, I'll cut this short & tell you all about it next time. After all, I have the kitchen yet to clear & my sack to hit.

posted by Andalusia at 5/27/2001 02:07:00 AM