I plead temporary insanity. I didn't want to act the way I exhibited myself these past few weeks, & if I had completely my way, I'd rather be basking in happiness, even if retail-induced. Maybe that's what I should do completely from now on, despite all the crap at work & the pile of junk in my room that needs immediate attention & my derailing social life & the stuff I need to write but just can't.
I've had the worst birthday this year, no doubt about it. I almost drowned twice & killed myself thrice, then bled to death for 3 days, lost valuable sleep, had my mother's hair clamp broken, lost a blouse that I'd dutifully wear to work with my mother's matching green brooch, cried buckets that eventually spilled on to mud puddles, took crappy pictures, lost a best friend & the love of my life in one go, binged on chocolate & other sickeningly tasty food, broke someone's nose, & had my left arm nastily bruised out of nowhere.
But all is still good so far. To enumerate, I scored a few silly items, like for example, a black velour jacket, a couple of fountain pen-shaped pepper sprays, & an Estee Lauder make-up bag from my mom (obviously the latter is useless to a make-up phobe like me). Then I had 2 caramel apples that I gave away to coworkers, & I had 2 chocolate cakes in return from peers. Lynne's staple RENT DVD & OST CD are with me now as well. Then my coworker Runey gave me a pug plushie on a furry pillow (though he declares I ain't seen nothing yet, as I don't deserve anything cheap daw). Jan-kun was nice to give me 2 silly Magic:The Gathering cards, but I'd really want a Hair-Strung Koto & a Cry of Contrition. Then 2 of my oldest friends Zhy & Rissa taking a vacation leave just for me on the 25th, even if we didn't get to enjoy the rest of the night, as I was too tired to go on. Then I treated myself to a slew of flirtinis/vodkatinis (my favorite is the new Virgin Gwen mix, & who knew I'd be a big fan of peach & cranberry combined?) even if I should steer cleer of booze. I also got a new tankini LOL (in the middle of the rainy season? laboooo). I'm also stuck with A Wrinkle in Time (honestly, I'm bored to death at this point with the book, & I'll have the fashionably gruesome Tales of the Otori anytime). Oh, then I had free massages, yay, & scented candles, woohoo, for the New Age freak in me. I also discovered new songs LOL.
Nevertheless, I feel like I'm better off dead at this point, & I had to learn the hard way that breakups are practically death sentences imposed upon oneself as much as marriages are. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, I guess. & PMSing without realizing it makes things so much worse. What did I fucking do to deserve all of this?
