LIBRA: The upcoming weeks present you with situations that may seem chaotic, but they are connected with aspects of your inner self that need expressing. Look within to better understand your role in the obstacles that you are facing, but don't be too hard on yourself. Take a chance now to shine the light on your own shadows, for your awareness can release you from your past.
Holy shit, my birthday's in a few days & I'll be celebrating this weekend. Just when I thought the worst is over, here I am with another dilemma: becoming a maid-of-honor. In 2 months. For a dear friend's sudden wedding. Before my own 5th (non-wedding, of course) anniversary. & I feel like posting here what I wrote for Valentine's Day 2 years ago, a few months before the beau gave me his promise ring, something which I'd crazily misplace every now & then:
"We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another, get a new job, get a new house. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than RIGHT NOW! If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way."
Can't we be happy on our own, without depending on marriage? Do we always have to follow the supposed cycle of life, like our parents did? Can we not embrace independence & youth & romance & the future without having to be pressured by the thought that we all have to 'settle down' & own a cozy house by the suburbs someday?
If I do ever want to get married, it's not because I want to have this quick & easy solution to all my problems. Not because I want to run away from my messy family life, or be like everyone else in my batch from school, or be deemed attractive/adult enough to end up with a stupid rock on my finger, or have someone to keep house for me while I'd figure out how to snap out of my vegetation. Not because everyone else expects me to. Not because I'm afraid to die alone & half-eaten by an Alsatian rabid cats. Or my future Siberian husky to be named Sanzo LOL.
I'm sorry, but I just hate it how older people/mother- figures rub it in — that I'm within the marrying age range & I oughta have kids soon before 35 so I'd be able to raise the fuckers brats better. No wonder their lives are a tragedy. They just took the plunge pala without considering all the aspects to the subject. Then they complain & wonder why the world isn't like what it's supposed to be.
God, di naman ako cynical noh? HEHE. Nyeta. & I think it has a lot to do with my horoscope today. I have nothing against single parents or people heavy with child before the wedding — honestly — but I'm not going to subject myself to that. No, thank you. & I want to accomplish so much more before tying the proverbial knot. Hindi ako kukuha ng bato (boulder much?) para lang ipukpok sa ulo ko at sa ibang tao. Tama nang maging pahirap nako the way I am right now. SHIT, I'M SO STRESSED NA.