Something I wrote here (this old, old personal blog) 12 long summers ago:
"I love the beau for taking me as I am even if after 4 years I still don't understand why. Thank you, sweets, for making me feel awfully pretty, lucky, & special every single time, like a princess on a bad hair day. I just can't express how much." ♥
No wonder it didn't work. I couldn't receive love properly or completely, & I really didn't understand my first ex-fiance could love someone like me. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn't trust him (or myself) enough. & when I thought I could finally do so, he let me down. But it's okay, it was also my fault why. But maybe it wasn't really meant to be. Even if I thought it really could've been. We were together (even despite all the odds) for 6 years.
Fast forward to today, now that I acknowledge my very own strengths & other yummy traits that come with my rather inconspicuous feminine sensuality, it's easier to why anyone would want to be with me, especially this new guy whom I've known for about 6 months now.
& I'm happy I don't really have to ever stress out for this kind of adoration, despite myself & all my "but I'm too macho!" excuses.
It's just all too funny how I'm actually ending up with all these Fire signs. I guess that's a good thing.
I'm thinking of obliterating this space completely, but it feels nice to keep this up, anyway. It's like this little hole-in-the-wall where I can just be myself, by myself at a late hour. People are still free to drop by & say hi, but I'll be usually just lost in my thoughts & shit.
Lately I've been delving deeper into astrology & how I'm moving with all the transits. I'm all the more inspired to get into this full-time, & I also want to make my own scented candles & arrange my own flowers someday. I'm also thinking of making my own bath stuff as a result, in favor of local + organic. I'm still bent on working on my feng shui know-how better, too, & I can't wait for the Year of the Metal Tiger, because we moved in this house nearly 12 years ago, & that means I've to work on the annual placements & whatnot again. So much for an exciting life, sigh. But that's how it is for this grrl.
I'm still very busy with work, & I'm more driven than ever to succeed. I've already come a long way, with all the setbacks I've handled, not to mention the hospital trips + sick leaves. I've been more than once hailed as a top peon for quality work, but my other metrics need so much improvement. Don't worry, I'm on it.
I'm not really playing any more video/virtual games, except for sucky Restaurant City & Café World. The concepts are great (you know I love cooking & eating in general) but the gameplays suck. But that's what you get when things are still in beta form. I can't wait for drastic developments.
Oh, I want to watch Techy Romantics perform again. It's been a year since I've last seen them & swayed to their light, sexy music. ♥
So much has changed & happened to me since my last post, but I'll go further into detail later. Must nap before taking another energizing bath for work. Microblogging has stunted my knack for babbling, anyway.
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